How Money CAN Buy You Happiness

When are you at your happiest? If you were to cast your mind back over your life and pick a few of your ‘top happy memories’, what do they mostly have in common?

I’m willing to bet that in most cases they would involve you being part of an event of some kind; perhaps a wedding, or a birth, a holiday, or an act of charity? Rarely do our happiest memories come from “the time I splashed out on that really expensive sweater” or “when we had the lounge redecorated”. Those things do brings us passing moments of pleasant feelings, but when it comes to being REALLY happy, in a way that lasts, it’s our active involvement in experiences that pushes all the right buttons.

We know this because when we think about the great time we had with our friends that time we feel nostalgic and we smile. When we think about the designer curtains we bought last year we, well, just think about curtains.

When it comes to deciding what to spend your money on it is scientifically proven that investing in an experience will bring you greater levels of authentic happiness than buying a ‘thing’. In a recent study, the San Francisco State University psychology department concluded that, among their test group, the measure of happiness was significantly higher from having experiences such as going on holiday, or renting a sailboat, than it was from the purchasing of material goods, such as clothes and gadgets.

The interesting thing about this is that I don’t think many people would be surprised by the result of this study. But – and it’s a BIG BUT – why is it then that we still seem to be so attached to the idea of accumulating more ‘stuff’?

Without being too deep about it I believe it has a lot to do with the Ego. Ego is the part of us that likes to think that its what happens on the outside that causes us to feel the way we do. When we feel bad we don’t have to take responsibility for it because it is our boss’s fault, or the traffic, or the weather, or the Government. It also means that we have to rely on outside forces to give us those feelings of joy too – the promotion, the pay rise, the new car, the bigger house, those new shoes… But the very fact that those things do not have emotion built into them means that no sooner have we acquired them the Ego gets a bit disappointed and injects even more effort into going after the next thing. All the time the Ego is in charge this pattern is never ending.

Experiences on the other hand require us to focus on the internal connection we have with what’s going on around us. Things tantalise us, but experiences change us.

The desire for connection, whether that be to other people, nature, a god, a team, is such a powerful part of our make up and it can only be fulfilled through the act of actually doing or being part of something.

I’d love a new sports car, and maybe one day I’ll get one, but I’ll still be exactly the same person I was before I bought it. If, on the other hand, I train to be a race car driver, then I’m fundamentally changed… and probably a bit happier!

Some people like to travel alone because they connect to a deeper part of themselves. Others like to travel with friends so they have people to share the memories with. Either way it’s all about the sense of connection, of being changed in someway, of growing, of becoming more than we were before.

Isn't that the true essence of happiness?


Today’s Homework:

Think about the thing you have had your eye on lately? What have you been saving your pennies for in the hope that getting it will make you somehow happier?

What do you want that intended change in feeling to get for you? (Fun, confidence, entertainment, self worth, respect from the Jones's, etc…)

Think of an event or activity that is likely to give you the same kind of feeling and plan to do that instead. I guarantee in the future, when you look back, you’ll smile and be glad you did it!

Warm wishes

Paul
www.life-happens.co.uk