Stress and suffering only takes place in our lives when we believe something in the world should be different than it actually is. People shouldn’t be the way they are; Events shouldn’t turn out the way they do; I shouldn’t be made to feel like this…
It is our nature to have very firm convictions of what is good, what is bad, right or wrong, and we project this Emotional Guidance System (EGS) out onto the world. It is this system that lets us know how to respond emotionally to our environment, and like all good systems it’s remarkably simple. All the time the world and everyone in it conforms to our idea of what’s right and good, we feel happy. When the world and everyone in it behaves in any other way we don’t feel happy.
But here’s the thing. There are six and a half billion of us on the planet and not one of us can completely agree on what is good, what is bad, right or wrong. So how can we all live in the same world and immunise ourselves against the stress and suffering caused by our EGS being violated?
The answer lies not in changing the events of the world or the behaviours of others, but in realising there is a better, more truthful way of looking at your experience of life.
When you project your EGS out onto the world, it just gets reflected right back at you. To experience the behaviour of another person and know what it means you have to take it back inside and use your internal communication to apply a meaning to it. Of course the meaning you give will be completely dependent on your EGS… and you created that too!!!
So the world that you see is not actually the real world, it is just a projection of yourself. Trying to manipulate the physical world to be different than it actually is like a dog trying to chase its own tail. It is impossible for the world to bend to suit you, because it IS you. Freedom from stress and suffering only comes with the unconditional acceptance of reality as it is. The consistent practice of being non-judgemental towards others can only generate space for love and understanding.
Today’s Experiment:
Mentally step back today. Be curious about the way you experience what is going on around you, particularly to do with your interactions with other people. Can you notice that the way you feel about what happens starts with you own internal communication rather that what actually took place outside of you? How are you going to use that realisation to improve your experience of life?
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4 comments:
Very nice post. I wish we could all do that. I know I am trying but it admit it doesn't always turn out the way I planned....with me being perfectly calm and non-judgmental I mean. ^-^
Thank you for following my Blog Kami.
Yep, I agree, it really is a challenge to let go of Ego and see things as they really are "without the story", but man is it worth it. Never be down on yourself for the times when you forget to realise the world is just YOU reflected back at you, just feel good when you remember!!
Take care, Kami
Paul
Oh yes, I learned that when you are pointing a finger at someone 3 are pointing right back at you. Yet it's hard for me, when I see others being mean and inconsiderate to others, to be perfectly calm. Normal reaction I suppose when my highest value gets stepped on. I can even understand the reasons that they do it...I just have to accept that that is their choice, I suppose.
...and the pleasure is all mine ^^
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