The world cannot bend for you… it is you

Stress and suffering only takes place in our lives when we believe something in the world should be different than it actually is. People shouldn’t be the way they are; Events shouldn’t turn out the way they do; I shouldn’t be made to feel like this…

It is our nature to have very firm convictions of what is good, what is bad, right or wrong, and we project this Emotional Guidance System (EGS) out onto the world. It is this system that lets us know how to respond emotionally to our environment, and like all good systems it’s remarkably simple. All the time the world and everyone in it conforms to our idea of what’s right and good, we feel happy. When the world and everyone in it behaves in any other way we don’t feel happy.

But here’s the thing. There are six and a half billion of us on the planet and not one of us can completely agree on what is good, what is bad, right or wrong. So how can we all live in the same world and immunise ourselves against the stress and suffering caused by our EGS being violated?

The answer lies not in changing the events of the world or the behaviours of others, but in realising there is a better, more truthful way of looking at your experience of life.

When you project your EGS out onto the world, it just gets reflected right back at you. To experience the behaviour of another person and know what it means you have to take it back inside and use your internal communication to apply a meaning to it. Of course the meaning you give will be completely dependent on your EGS… and you created that too!!!

So the world that you see is not actually the real world, it is just a projection of yourself. Trying to manipulate the physical world to be different than it actually is like a dog trying to chase its own tail. It is impossible for the world to bend to suit you, because it IS you. Freedom from stress and suffering only comes with the unconditional acceptance of reality as it is. The consistent practice of being non-judgemental towards others can only generate space for love and understanding.


Today’s Experiment:

Mentally step back today. Be curious about the way you experience what is going on around you, particularly to do with your interactions with other people. Can you notice that the way you feel about what happens starts with you own internal communication rather that what actually took place outside of you? How are you going to use that realisation to improve your experience of life?

BE THE CHANGE...

Quotes are such powerful directors of thought. They have the ability to condense big and complex ideas or concepts into short, snappy phrases that cut straight through to the simple truth of things.

One of the quotes that has had the most profound and lasting effect on me comes from Gandhi. He said "You must be the change you wish to see in the world".

When I heard this for the first time I experienced a massive light bulb moment. Everything I had been seeking to learn about how to positively influence the world around me suddenly came together in flash of clarity. That instant I realised that in order for things to get better, I was going to have to get better.

This is what getting better meant to me:

• If I want others to be kind and considered towards me.... I must demonstrate kindness and consideration towards them
• If I wanted them to be motivated... I must show them I am motivated
• If I want to be wealthy... I must give my heartfelt warm wishes to those who are already wealthy (there is no room for hidden jealousy)
• If I want to attract love into my life... I must be the embodiment of love
• If I want harmony in the world... I must be harmonious
• If I want to be appreciated... I must share
• If I want to be heard... I must listen
• If I want to receive... I must give

Like attracts like. Nothing in your life will improve by listing everything that is wrong with the world (or the people in it). The most powerful influencing tool you possess is your ability to be the example of what you desire there to be more of.

People only respond to you in ways that are consistent with the manner in which you present yourself. If you change, then they have to change also to accommodate it. That is the nature of human interaction.

You will rarely make someone see your point of view by arguing with theirs. If you want them to understand you, then understand them. Somewhere along the line there is a truth you can both agree with.

Peace will never be achieved through war. Mother Teresa often refused to take part in anti-war marches, requesting that they should give her a call if they ever decide to walk for peace. This distinction is critical.

Think about the situations and people in your own life. What would being the change you wish to see in the world mean for you? What are you frustrated by? What do you need to be doing, or being, that you have not already that will cause the world to respond more favourably towards you?

YOUR THOUGHTS REALLY DO MOLD YOUR BRAIN

A bit of change of theme in today’s blog. Of course you know I like to send you daily postings that motivate, inspire and encourage to you to live your best life, but sometimes it can be just as motivating, inspiring and encouraging to learn about the science of how we work physically. I am not a religious guy (although I am very connected with my spiritual side) but I am sometime so awe struck by the incredible nature of the human brain that it does often seem miraculous.

I love it when science and spirituality come together. I have spent years developing myself and studying various self improvement philosophies but I always like to know there is logic behind my beliefs. It has never been good enough for me to just jump on the band wagon of a self-help or spiritual theory without rigorously challenging its practicality. I guess I am a bit of a spiritual scientist in that respect.

It is wonderful that more often we are seeing collaborations between leading scientists and spiritual teachers, and the trend is that both sides are beginning to learn more and more from each other.

I came across this text on Wikipedia about how Buddhist monks have helped neuroscientists understand the physical impact that thinking has on the brain. It would appear that your thoughts really do shape you!!!


Source Wikipedia:

The Dalai Lama invited Richard Davidson, a Harvard-trained neuroscientist at the University of Wisconsin-Madison's W.M. Keck Laboratory for Functional Brain Imaging and Behavior to his home in Dharamsala, India, in 1992 after learning about Davidson's innovative research into the neuroscience of emotions. Could the simple act of thinking change the brain? Most scientists believed this idea to be false, but they agreed to test the theory. One such experiment involved a group of eight Buddhist monk adepts and ten volunteers who had been trained in meditation for one week in Davidson's lab. All the people tested were told to meditate on compassion and love. Two of the controls, and all of the monks, experienced an increase in the number of gamma waves in their brain during meditation. As soon as they stopped meditating, the volunteers' gamma wave production returned to normal, while the monks, who had meditated on compassion for more than 10,000 hours in order to attain the rank of adept, did not experience a decrease to normal in the gamma wave production after they stopped meditating. The synchronized gamma wave area of the monks' brains during meditation on love and compassion was found to be larger than that corresponding activation of the volunteers' brains. Davidson's results were published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences in November, 2004 and TIME recognized Davidson as one of the ten most influential people in 2006 on the basis of his research.