"It is discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit." - Noel Coward
The inspiration for this tip came after I had the great fortune to find out about the work of Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks. Together they run The Hendricks Institute, a hugely successful learning centre that teaches core skills for conscious living. Whilst much of the work they do is based around strengthening relationships, the area that I was particularly struck with is a process they have devised for identifying and transforming what they call “unconscious commitments”.
Have you ever been really frustrated with yourself for not following through on a task or activity that you know would have given you great rewards?
For example:
* Not filling out the job application even though you were really keen on moving forward in your career.
* Falling off the healthy eating plan even though you already felt uncomfortable with your level of wellbeing.
* Treating yourself to a little luxury item after you vowed to pay off maxed-out credit cards first.
* Saying you’d make more of an effort in your relationship and then spending more time in front of the TV.
Those scenarios may ring bells for you or they may not, but I’m willing to stick my neck out and say that everyone has a little thing or area of life where their own actions stop them from getting what they really want.
The key to reversing this kind of self sabotage is to take a good look at yourself and to be completely honest about what is really going on in that head of yours. Although we like to think that our desires are driven by what we consciously choose, there is a far more powerful force at play in the deepest recesses of your unconscious mind.
Take the guy who says he wants to move his business up to the next level. He may have all kinds of ideas and visions for where he’d like the business to go; he might even write down a few lofty goals and do some research on the kind of resources he might need. BUT, if his unconscious mind, for whatever reason, is not ready to play ball, he will inevitably seek out and find all the excuses as to why progress cannot be made right now: It’s not the right time; the market is not there; he’s too busy; he’s too tired; there’s no support; his wife wouldn’t like it… And the sad thing is that probably the only place where any of these excuses are actually true is in the story he’s making up in his head.
It may be a bitter pill to swallow but he will only be able to stop obstructing himself when he is willing to admit that he is holding onto an unconscious commitment to keep his business exactly where it is right now.
Initially it can be a very uncomfortable thing to acknowledge that you may be unconsciously committed to avoiding the very thing you say you want. Some people start out by strenuously resisting this notion:
“That’s ridiculous, there is nothing more I’d love than to do than be the most successful person in my industry. It’s not my fault it happened to rain today. I definitely would have gone to that networking event had it been less of a downpour!”
The purpose of taking a radically honest stance is not to beat yourself up about not doing the best you can, but it’s to uncover the mental blocks that are getting in the way of your success.
My own experience of this is when some years ago I got the idea into my head that I wanted to build a career in personal development (of all things). I thought about all the possible ways that I could be of service make a positive difference in the lives of others through private consultation, workshops and seminars, creating products and generally being a pretty damn good coach. So I set about signing-up to as many training events as I could get onto (and afford). I read mountains for books on just about every area of personal growth and self development, and I even set up my very first website. I was on a roll. I was so excited at the prospect of being a sought after and respected expert in the field, and I felt so strongly that this was the right path for me to follow.
There was one small problem though. In my busyness to expand my knowledge and formulate a plan for magnificent success I wasn’t actually doing anything to get any work. But more than that, I was even turning down opportunities that were being handed to me on a plate. I’d get invites to deliver talks to local groups. Friends were always offering to pass my details onto other people they knew would definitely want to see me for coaching or therapy. But somehow I always found a way of avoiding putting my skills into practice. I’d find reasons why I was too busy, or my presentation wasn’t quite polished enough, or I’d think I might be coming down with something. I spent so much time perfecting the look and feel of my website that I forgot to fill it with the kind of content that people actually wanted to know about. I’d hide behind emails, rather than picking up the phone and talking with people directly.
This carried for a while until eventually it got to the stage that I couldn’t ignore it any longer. It was the elephant in the corner of the room. Even though I hadn’t heard about the Hendricks’ idea of “unconscious commitments” back then, I came to my own realisation that I was committed to being invisible and resisting my own success.
Is that because I was lying when I talked about all the things I wanted to achieve as coach? Of course not, but what it did mean is that I was probably a bit scared, and my unconscious mind was doing the only thing it knows how to do; to protect me from coming to any harm.
The really cute thing about the unconscious mind is that, despite its infinite wisdom, it really isn’t very good at distinguishing between a real threat to our physical being and an imagined threat to our imagined being, or self-image – otherwise known as the ego.
When you are about to embark on an exciting but uncertain journey the ego has no assurances that it will survive unscathed. “What if I fail? What will other people think? What if they disapprove? What if I can’t handle the pressure of success? You’d better back in your box right now!”
Your subconscious is an extremely powerful force in your life and drives the majority of your behaviour. But it craves familiarity! It likes your self image just the way it is and, left to its own devices, will organise your thoughts and actions to keep it that way. If you want to move past this you have to become aware of what’s really going on inside and consciously decide to override this well intentioned protection system with deliberate thoughts and actions that are congruent with your desired outcome.
Here is the really magical thing that I experienced. As soon as I admitted that I was just a bit nervous about launching myself onto the public stage, and that I was willing to work consciously towards being clearly visible my potential client base, it’s as if I was suddenly free of that old unconscious commitment to remain hidden from view.
Anyone can overcome their unconscious commitments and unblock the flow of success in their life, but it takes two things: Radical self-honesty that the only obstacle you are facing is yourself, and a genuine willingness to be consciously committed to turning the situation around.
Homework:
I encourage you to think about your own life and the areas where you may have unconscious commitments that stop you achieving the results you want. Here are some steps to overcome them (it’s important that you let go of any self-judgement as you do this).
1, Identify the non-desirable recurring issues in your life. What do you find yourself consistently complaining about, either verbally to others or silently to yourself? Have you been blaming something or someone for holding you back?
Example: You’ve been fed up for ages that you are working so hard in your job that it leaves you too little energy to go to the gym.
Now, as if you knew that this is just an excuse, finish off the following sentence with the real unconscious truth.
“I am committed to…”
Example:
* “I am committed to blaming everything else for my own lack of action”
* “I am committed to finding excuses not to exercise”
* “I am committed to convincing myself I am too tired when that’s not actually true”
* “I am committed to presenting myself as a victim”
2, Say the unconscious commitment out loud and notice the emotional effect it creates in you. If it feels uncomfortable there’s a good chance you’re on the money!
3, The next step is to repeat the statement out loud over and over, but each time vary the way that you say it. Say it slowly then really quickly. Use a high pitched voice and then a deep low voice. Say it in a sexy voice and then in the style of your favourite cartoon character.
Carry on doing this for a little while and then check back in with your feelings to see how the statement affects you now. This process is very good at ‘de-sensitising’ the unconscious commitment by removing its emotional charge. When you can say the statement without any negative sensations, move on.
4, This is a really important step. Identify the positive intention your unconscious had in giving you this commitment. Ask yourself “What are all the positive ways in which this unconscious commitment has served me?” And with whatever comes up, send your deep gratitude and love to your unconscious for everything it has been trying to do you for doing.
Example: By making me frustrated with my it was trying to get me to have a better work / life balance
5, Create a conscious commitment to override the unconscious one
* I am committed to taking the best care of myself* I am committed to making health and happiness the most important part of my life* I am committed to finding creative ways to exercise even when I’m busy* I am committed to being 100% responsible for myself
Repeat the new commitment out loud over and over until it feels natural and a part of you. Do things to remind yourself of it, like putting post-its around your desk, your home or in your car.
When you catch yourself revisiting that old unconscious commitment, which you inevitably will from time to time, just bring yourself gently back by affirming your new commitment until you feel it in your body.
Take great care. Namaste.
Paul
www.life-happens.co.uk
Showing posts with label development. Show all posts
Showing posts with label development. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Friday, July 24, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
WHEN YOU OWN THE CINEMA, YOU CHOOSE THE MOVIE
"The world is what you think it is." - Serge Kahili King
Humour me for a moment and just imagine that you’re in a cinema. Everything around you is dark apart from the screen that’s showing the latest blockbuster suspense thriller. You’re sat there wide-eyed, holding a piece of popcorn in front of your open mouth as if it’s frozen in time. It’s just getting to the really juicy bit – the girl is being followed, but by who? And what will be her fate when they catch her? She trips! The chilling music gets faster and louder; the camera zooms right in on the action. You hold your breath; your heart beats faster; you push back into your seat; the anticipation is almost too much to bear…..
And then all of a sudden, for no apparent reason, the music changes to the Benny Hill theme tune! The colour gets really bright and vivid, and the film speeds up to double time so that the characters start to move in a kind of comical fashion. Now, as you look up at that screen, no matter how hard you try, it’s impossible to continue the feeling of fear or anxiety about what is unfolding in front of you. It just seems ridiculous.
I’ve used this kind of cinematic example many times before with my clients and workshop attendees, because it’s a perfect metaphor for understanding how our experience of life is created purely through the projection of our thoughts. Now, replace the movie of the girl being followed with that other movie of how everyone will laugh at you if you fail. Or how about the one where you know you’d be rubbish at a particular task so it’s not worth even attempting it? Or the one about your boss firing you; or the one about how someone might somehow expose you as being a fraud; or how your parents never take you seriously; or what ever movie you like to run on a regular basis.
Notice how compelling and realistic you make it, and as you replay the scene over and over, pay attention to how you begin to feel in response.
But it’s just a movie; a thought.
If you knew that you were the Director of that movie what direction would you want to take it to make it more enjoyable to watch? Horror movies are great for entertainment, but when they are about your own life, that’s another story. Wouldn’t you rather be watching a ‘feel good’ classic?
One of the best explanations I’ve discovered for simplifying the whole subject of how our thoughts create our realities comes from the success coach, Michael Neill. He describes that there are three vital ingredients that must exist in order for us create a life-like experience of the world around us. They are Energy, Consciousness and Thought.
To understand the part that these three elements play let’s go back to that cinema, only this time I’ll meet you up in the projection booth. This is where the magic happens.
Consciousness is like the projector itself. It sheds lights onto whatever happens to be in front of it at the time, in this case a reel of film, and the result is the image that you see on the screen. It only ever shines the right amount of light to illuminate the area of that screen with everything remaining in darkness. To put it another way, if it’s not lit up, it’s unconscious.
Of course, nothing could be projected if the projector is not plugged in because it needs electricity. You provide the energy to your consciousness by simply being alive. Some would regard this energy as being your life-force, your essence, your soul or your spirit. You’re plugged in!!
Thought is the reel of film itself. We each have thousands of thoughts every day, most of which glide by harmlessly in the background of our awareness, but some make it to the front of the projector. They get illuminated and magnified larger than life onto that big screen, complete with panoramic and Technicolor qualities and dramatic score and sound effects. Before long you are gripped by the emotional impact of the compelling plot, this is real on-the-edge-of-your-seat kind of stuff.
But here’s the thing. What if you don’t like the movie? It’s no good going up to the screen and trying to get it to change from there. No amount of shouting at the characters or being frustrated with the storyline is going to alter the ending; that has already been decided. The world doesn’t care what thoughts you project out onto it, in the same way that a screen doesn’t care what images is cast onto it.
The only way to swap this movie for a better one - say a comedy or a romance or one where the good guy always wins - is to realise that that up there in the projection booth is a library of film to suit any taste. All you need to do is go up there, select the one you’d like to watch and put it in front of your projector.
When you own the cinema, you get to choose the movie, and the quality of the movie you choose determines the quality of your life. So wouldn’t it be a good idea to start getting really picky about what you want to watch?
Homework:
Be a film critic this week. Plan to check-in with yourself at least a couple of times a day and review the kind of movies you are running in your head. Are they ones you’d pay good money to see, or would they win ‘Worst Picture’ at The Raspberry Awards. If they are more “boo-hiss” than “bravo”, change them for better ones. It's that simple!
You might want to take it a step further and decide to play the leading part in the most wonderful adaptation of your life.
Have an amazing week.
Namaste,
Paul
www.life-happens.co.uk
Humour me for a moment and just imagine that you’re in a cinema. Everything around you is dark apart from the screen that’s showing the latest blockbuster suspense thriller. You’re sat there wide-eyed, holding a piece of popcorn in front of your open mouth as if it’s frozen in time. It’s just getting to the really juicy bit – the girl is being followed, but by who? And what will be her fate when they catch her? She trips! The chilling music gets faster and louder; the camera zooms right in on the action. You hold your breath; your heart beats faster; you push back into your seat; the anticipation is almost too much to bear…..
And then all of a sudden, for no apparent reason, the music changes to the Benny Hill theme tune! The colour gets really bright and vivid, and the film speeds up to double time so that the characters start to move in a kind of comical fashion. Now, as you look up at that screen, no matter how hard you try, it’s impossible to continue the feeling of fear or anxiety about what is unfolding in front of you. It just seems ridiculous.
I’ve used this kind of cinematic example many times before with my clients and workshop attendees, because it’s a perfect metaphor for understanding how our experience of life is created purely through the projection of our thoughts. Now, replace the movie of the girl being followed with that other movie of how everyone will laugh at you if you fail. Or how about the one where you know you’d be rubbish at a particular task so it’s not worth even attempting it? Or the one about your boss firing you; or the one about how someone might somehow expose you as being a fraud; or how your parents never take you seriously; or what ever movie you like to run on a regular basis.
Notice how compelling and realistic you make it, and as you replay the scene over and over, pay attention to how you begin to feel in response.
But it’s just a movie; a thought.
If you knew that you were the Director of that movie what direction would you want to take it to make it more enjoyable to watch? Horror movies are great for entertainment, but when they are about your own life, that’s another story. Wouldn’t you rather be watching a ‘feel good’ classic?
One of the best explanations I’ve discovered for simplifying the whole subject of how our thoughts create our realities comes from the success coach, Michael Neill. He describes that there are three vital ingredients that must exist in order for us create a life-like experience of the world around us. They are Energy, Consciousness and Thought.
To understand the part that these three elements play let’s go back to that cinema, only this time I’ll meet you up in the projection booth. This is where the magic happens.
Consciousness is like the projector itself. It sheds lights onto whatever happens to be in front of it at the time, in this case a reel of film, and the result is the image that you see on the screen. It only ever shines the right amount of light to illuminate the area of that screen with everything remaining in darkness. To put it another way, if it’s not lit up, it’s unconscious.
Of course, nothing could be projected if the projector is not plugged in because it needs electricity. You provide the energy to your consciousness by simply being alive. Some would regard this energy as being your life-force, your essence, your soul or your spirit. You’re plugged in!!
Thought is the reel of film itself. We each have thousands of thoughts every day, most of which glide by harmlessly in the background of our awareness, but some make it to the front of the projector. They get illuminated and magnified larger than life onto that big screen, complete with panoramic and Technicolor qualities and dramatic score and sound effects. Before long you are gripped by the emotional impact of the compelling plot, this is real on-the-edge-of-your-seat kind of stuff.
But here’s the thing. What if you don’t like the movie? It’s no good going up to the screen and trying to get it to change from there. No amount of shouting at the characters or being frustrated with the storyline is going to alter the ending; that has already been decided. The world doesn’t care what thoughts you project out onto it, in the same way that a screen doesn’t care what images is cast onto it.
The only way to swap this movie for a better one - say a comedy or a romance or one where the good guy always wins - is to realise that that up there in the projection booth is a library of film to suit any taste. All you need to do is go up there, select the one you’d like to watch and put it in front of your projector.
When you own the cinema, you get to choose the movie, and the quality of the movie you choose determines the quality of your life. So wouldn’t it be a good idea to start getting really picky about what you want to watch?
Homework:
Be a film critic this week. Plan to check-in with yourself at least a couple of times a day and review the kind of movies you are running in your head. Are they ones you’d pay good money to see, or would they win ‘Worst Picture’ at The Raspberry Awards. If they are more “boo-hiss” than “bravo”, change them for better ones. It's that simple!
You might want to take it a step further and decide to play the leading part in the most wonderful adaptation of your life.
Have an amazing week.
Namaste,
Paul
www.life-happens.co.uk
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
The Secret To Making Good Decisions
How many times in your life have you put off doing something because you couldn’t decide the best course of action to take? I’ve known people plan to go out for a well earned meal with their partner and end up staying at home because they couldn’t make up their mind between Chinese or Italian. Heaven help the person who orders sweet and sour chicken when all along they should have been having lasagne! Can you imagine what it is like for them to choose between a staying in their job or take a gamble on starting that business they always dreamed of?
The fear of making bad decisions prevents people from doing all kinds of things that they might be better off doing. The truth of the matter is there is no way of knowing which direction a particular choice is going to take you. You can spend years ruminating over every possible outcome while in the mean time watching the world move on around you. It doesn’t change the fact that, no matter what you choose to do in the end, it might all turn out right and it might all turn out not so right.
But none of that matters because the secret to making great decisions is falling in love with making mistakes.
A lot of people will not make the distinction between making a mistake and making a bad decision, but there is a world of difference, and realising what that difference is can literally turn your life around and set you on a whole new path.
A mistake is literally doing something in a moment that you think is for the best but later turns out to be not such a good idea for you. A bad decision is doing nothing to correct that mistake and then letting the consequences of it define you for ages afterwards.
Here are a few of examples:
Mistake = Getting into a relationship with the wrong person
Bad Decision = Sticking with them and being miserable for the rest of your life
Mistake = Choosing Bognor Regis rather than Cuba for your annual holiday
Bad Decision = Looking for everything you can find to hate about Bognor just to prove you were right about how you should have gone to Cuba! And then going back to Bognor next year! (Bognor is a wonderful place by the way :o)
Mistake = Going into business without having some sort of a plan
Bad Decision = Injecting more and more of your personal finance, sweat and tears into it just to prove you can make the damn thing work.
Making a good decision is not about knowing the outcome before it has had a chance to happen. It is about committing to ANY course of action you FEEL is for the best and then paying attention to the lessons you are later presented with. It is the skill of interpreting the information generated by what has happened and choosing to either do more of the same or change your approach – even start again in some cases. In the same way that an aeroplane reaches its destination by continually measuring how off track it is from the set flight path and adjusting its course to get back on track, the same is true for good decision making.
Making a decision in any area is not a one time event; it is an ongoing and organic process that must evolve as life unfolds.
Today’s Homework:
Think about a decision you have been putting off making. What are the possible choices you have?
Just for a moment, let go of analysing which choice you think you should make and just listen to your body; your intuition. If I were to flip a coin and the rules were Heads you choose option A and Tails you go with option B, which side would you secretly hope for, deep down, before knowing the outcome?
Just go with your instinct and do something to start to make that choice happen. Be willing to make a mistake, knowing that the only bad decision you can ever make is to not do something about the things you didn’t want to happen.
If things go wrong be willing to make a mistake in the opposite direction because, who knows, it might turn out to not be a mistake after all, but rather the realisation of your dream!
No matter what your situation you always have choice. Don’t worry about having to choose wisely, that’s overrated.
The fear of making bad decisions prevents people from doing all kinds of things that they might be better off doing. The truth of the matter is there is no way of knowing which direction a particular choice is going to take you. You can spend years ruminating over every possible outcome while in the mean time watching the world move on around you. It doesn’t change the fact that, no matter what you choose to do in the end, it might all turn out right and it might all turn out not so right.
But none of that matters because the secret to making great decisions is falling in love with making mistakes.
A lot of people will not make the distinction between making a mistake and making a bad decision, but there is a world of difference, and realising what that difference is can literally turn your life around and set you on a whole new path.
A mistake is literally doing something in a moment that you think is for the best but later turns out to be not such a good idea for you. A bad decision is doing nothing to correct that mistake and then letting the consequences of it define you for ages afterwards.
Here are a few of examples:
Mistake = Getting into a relationship with the wrong person
Bad Decision = Sticking with them and being miserable for the rest of your life
Mistake = Choosing Bognor Regis rather than Cuba for your annual holiday
Bad Decision = Looking for everything you can find to hate about Bognor just to prove you were right about how you should have gone to Cuba! And then going back to Bognor next year! (Bognor is a wonderful place by the way :o)
Mistake = Going into business without having some sort of a plan
Bad Decision = Injecting more and more of your personal finance, sweat and tears into it just to prove you can make the damn thing work.
Making a good decision is not about knowing the outcome before it has had a chance to happen. It is about committing to ANY course of action you FEEL is for the best and then paying attention to the lessons you are later presented with. It is the skill of interpreting the information generated by what has happened and choosing to either do more of the same or change your approach – even start again in some cases. In the same way that an aeroplane reaches its destination by continually measuring how off track it is from the set flight path and adjusting its course to get back on track, the same is true for good decision making.
Making a decision in any area is not a one time event; it is an ongoing and organic process that must evolve as life unfolds.
Today’s Homework:
Think about a decision you have been putting off making. What are the possible choices you have?
Just for a moment, let go of analysing which choice you think you should make and just listen to your body; your intuition. If I were to flip a coin and the rules were Heads you choose option A and Tails you go with option B, which side would you secretly hope for, deep down, before knowing the outcome?
Just go with your instinct and do something to start to make that choice happen. Be willing to make a mistake, knowing that the only bad decision you can ever make is to not do something about the things you didn’t want to happen.
If things go wrong be willing to make a mistake in the opposite direction because, who knows, it might turn out to not be a mistake after all, but rather the realisation of your dream!
No matter what your situation you always have choice. Don’t worry about having to choose wisely, that’s overrated.
Monday, January 19, 2009
BE THE CHANGE...
Quotes are such powerful directors of thought. They have the ability to condense big and complex ideas or concepts into short, snappy phrases that cut straight through to the simple truth of things.
One of the quotes that has had the most profound and lasting effect on me comes from Gandhi. He said "You must be the change you wish to see in the world".
When I heard this for the first time I experienced a massive light bulb moment. Everything I had been seeking to learn about how to positively influence the world around me suddenly came together in flash of clarity. That instant I realised that in order for things to get better, I was going to have to get better.
This is what getting better meant to me:
One of the quotes that has had the most profound and lasting effect on me comes from Gandhi. He said "You must be the change you wish to see in the world".
When I heard this for the first time I experienced a massive light bulb moment. Everything I had been seeking to learn about how to positively influence the world around me suddenly came together in flash of clarity. That instant I realised that in order for things to get better, I was going to have to get better.
This is what getting better meant to me:
- If I want others to be kind and considered towards me.... I must demonstrate kindness and consideration towards them
- If I wanted them to be motivated... I must show them I am motivated
- If I want to be wealthy... I must give my heartfelt warm wishes to those who are already wealthy (there is no room for hidden jealousy)
- If I want to attract love into my life... I must be the embodiment of love
- If I want harmony in the world... I must be harmonious
- If I want to be appreciated... I must share
- If I want to be heard... I must listen
- If I want to receive... I must give
Like attracts like. Nothing in your life will improve by listing everything that is wrong with the world (or the people in it). The most powerful influencing tool you possess is your ability to be the example of what you desire there to be more of.
People only respond to you in ways that are consistent with the manner in which you present yourself. If you change, then they have to change also to accommodate it. That is the nature of human interaction.
You will rarely make someone see your point of view by arguing with theirs. If you want them to understand you, then understand them. Somewhere along the line there is a truth you can both agree with.
Peace will never be achieved through war. Mother Teresa often refused to take part in anti-war marches, requesting that they should give her a call if they ever decide to walk for peace. This distinction is critical.
Think about the situations and people in your own life. What would being the change you wish to see in the world mean for you? What are you frustrated by? What do you need to be doing, or being, that you have not already that will cause the world to respond more favourably towards you?
Monday, December 1, 2008
THE SIX HUMAN NEEDS : DAY THREE - GROWTH
How many people can honestly put their hand up and say they do not want to develop in any particular area? Becoming wiser and more skilled is a natural function of life. You can recognise your own desire for growth every time you take an interest in something. Your attention is grabbed in such a way that it primes your brain to make use of information that you’re likely to use again in the future. Once we have exhausted our perceived usefulness at one level we want to be promoted to the next. The biggest advantage you have today over yesterday is that you are one day wiser and one day more experienced.
Just as we grow physically it is also vital that we growth mentally and emotionally. Generally speaking, the older we get the more philosophical we can be about our experience of life, this is product of growth. The way in which we measure our growth is by assessing the internal feeling we get as to how satisfied we are about how far we’ve come in life.
QUESTION: What are you currently doing to influence your own sense of personal growth?
Growth can happen naturally in the course of day to day experience, but you life becomes a lot more fulfilled when you play a more active part in developing your own sense of satisfaction about it. Spend 30 minutes everyday nourishing your soul. Read personal development books, meditate, write down you big life goals and carefully plan their achievement. Why not start conversations with your family and friends by asking them what they value in live, what makes them happy, what lessons life has taught them so far, where they want to be heading?
If you’re not growing you’re dying, so do the things that will let you be the fullest most positive expression of your true self.
Just as we grow physically it is also vital that we growth mentally and emotionally. Generally speaking, the older we get the more philosophical we can be about our experience of life, this is product of growth. The way in which we measure our growth is by assessing the internal feeling we get as to how satisfied we are about how far we’ve come in life.
QUESTION: What are you currently doing to influence your own sense of personal growth?
Growth can happen naturally in the course of day to day experience, but you life becomes a lot more fulfilled when you play a more active part in developing your own sense of satisfaction about it. Spend 30 minutes everyday nourishing your soul. Read personal development books, meditate, write down you big life goals and carefully plan their achievement. Why not start conversations with your family and friends by asking them what they value in live, what makes them happy, what lessons life has taught them so far, where they want to be heading?
If you’re not growing you’re dying, so do the things that will let you be the fullest most positive expression of your true self.
Friday, November 21, 2008
THE SIX HUMAN NEEDS : DAY TWO - UNCERTAINTY
Yesterday I blogged about the first of the six human needs, certainty. So let''s continue by looking at the second.
Simply because the human condition has got a great sense of humour, after our need for certainty comes our need for uncertainty, or to put it another way, variety.
This is obvious when we look at how we spend our leisure time. Most people do not want to go on holiday to the same place over and over when there is a whole world to explore (of course there are exceptions). We enjoy comedy, because the unexpected makes us laugh and lighten up - It gives us new perspectives. We want to watch different types of shows on TV. We are adventure seekers and don’t always want to know what is around the next bend.
When we don’t get enough uncertainty or variety in our lives we can become complacent or frustrated. Sometimes we get confused by thinking that our lives lack meaning when actually we are just bored. This is such an easy thing to remedy – DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT.
QUESTION: When was the last time you set some time aside to just have fun, or to learn something new? What have you wanted to do for a long time that you could start planning for today?
Develop your spontaneous side. Organise a trip to somewhere you’ve never been or have never thought of going. Enrol on an evening class. Just get involved in something. In the river of life you will often get caught up on a rock and stop going with the flow. When this happens you probably just need a gentle nudge to get you moving again. Finding something different to do can often be that nudge you are looking for. Keep a notebook near you at all times and use it to write down new things that you’d like to experience. These can be as simple as seeing a particular film at the cinema, or as big as planning a world tour. This way you’ve always got a starting point whenever you find yourself in a rut.
Simply because the human condition has got a great sense of humour, after our need for certainty comes our need for uncertainty, or to put it another way, variety.
This is obvious when we look at how we spend our leisure time. Most people do not want to go on holiday to the same place over and over when there is a whole world to explore (of course there are exceptions). We enjoy comedy, because the unexpected makes us laugh and lighten up - It gives us new perspectives. We want to watch different types of shows on TV. We are adventure seekers and don’t always want to know what is around the next bend.
When we don’t get enough uncertainty or variety in our lives we can become complacent or frustrated. Sometimes we get confused by thinking that our lives lack meaning when actually we are just bored. This is such an easy thing to remedy – DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT.
QUESTION: When was the last time you set some time aside to just have fun, or to learn something new? What have you wanted to do for a long time that you could start planning for today?
Develop your spontaneous side. Organise a trip to somewhere you’ve never been or have never thought of going. Enrol on an evening class. Just get involved in something. In the river of life you will often get caught up on a rock and stop going with the flow. When this happens you probably just need a gentle nudge to get you moving again. Finding something different to do can often be that nudge you are looking for. Keep a notebook near you at all times and use it to write down new things that you’d like to experience. These can be as simple as seeing a particular film at the cinema, or as big as planning a world tour. This way you’ve always got a starting point whenever you find yourself in a rut.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
THE SIX HUMAN NEEDS : DAY ONE - CERTAINTY
Over the next week I’ll be sharing with you some detail around the six human needs. These are the fundamental drivers that determine how we get motivated to live our lives.
With each of these Needs I’ll also pose a challenging question to encourage you to think about how you take positive action to bring more balance into your live.
So without further ado, let’s get started.
HUMAN NEED 1 - CERTAINTY
In order for us to function efficiently in the world you need to be able to get out of bed in the morning and have the luxury of taking certain things for granted. Perhaps one of the first things you’d want to take for granted is that there is a bed to get of in the first place. Others will include: that there will be enough food to eat and clean water, the car will start, you’ll still have a job when you get to the office, your partner will still want to be with you when you get home, you’ll get a pay check at the end of the month.
I’m sure you’ve experienced situations where these basic areas have not been so certain, like when the boiler breaks down, or the car dies, or you lose your job; or you home. Suddenly those details that had sat in the background of your awareness become the only thing you can focus on.
QUESTION: What in your life do you really value but take for granted? Is there anything you have neglected for a while that could really do with some attention?
Take care of these details. Prevention is better than cure and you don’t miss your water ‘till your well runs dry!!
With each of these Needs I’ll also pose a challenging question to encourage you to think about how you take positive action to bring more balance into your live.
So without further ado, let’s get started.
HUMAN NEED 1 - CERTAINTY
In order for us to function efficiently in the world you need to be able to get out of bed in the morning and have the luxury of taking certain things for granted. Perhaps one of the first things you’d want to take for granted is that there is a bed to get of in the first place. Others will include: that there will be enough food to eat and clean water, the car will start, you’ll still have a job when you get to the office, your partner will still want to be with you when you get home, you’ll get a pay check at the end of the month.
I’m sure you’ve experienced situations where these basic areas have not been so certain, like when the boiler breaks down, or the car dies, or you lose your job; or you home. Suddenly those details that had sat in the background of your awareness become the only thing you can focus on.
QUESTION: What in your life do you really value but take for granted? Is there anything you have neglected for a while that could really do with some attention?
Take care of these details. Prevention is better than cure and you don’t miss your water ‘till your well runs dry!!
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
FOCUS ON WHAT YOU WANT
“Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.” - Henry Ford
The words you use to communicate with yourself have an enormously powerful effect on your nervous system. They can build you up or they can knock you down. That little voice in your head that chatters away to you all day long plays a major part in determining the quality of your self-image which, in turn, is responsible for telling you what you think of yourself.
Your subconscious pays attention to what ever you say to yourself and, be it true or not, acts on your communication as if it’s an undeniable fact. Therefore, when you say something like “I can’t do it”, your subconscious instructs your nervous system to respond appropriately and shuts off access to the parts of you that potentially can do it. If on the other hand you were to say, “I’m committed to improving my current ability”, you set yourself up to create possibilities that otherwise would have been ignored.
Questions can be even more destructive if used negatively. For example, if you were to ask yourself, “Why does this always happen to me?”, not only are you likely to be making an over generalisation, but your subconscious will dutifully go on a search and seek out any evidence that supports you in believing the notion to be correct, even if it has to make some stuff up!!! Alternatively, a more positively phrased question such as “how could I change my approach to get a better result?” causes you to shift your attention away from failure and toward success.
There is an expression in my line of work that says, “You always get more of what you focus on”. This can be applied to any area of your life. Too many people focus on what they do not want to happen: “I don’t want to be fat”, “I don’t want to be poor”, “I don’t want to look stupid”… However, in order to know what it is that you don’t want in your life you first have to make a vivid representation of it in your head. The pictures you paint in your mind are even more powerful than words you use. Your subconscious always interprets mental images as targets to aim for, even if the image is not your desired outcome. The more you think in these terms the stronger you will be subconsciously steered towards the very thing you want to avoid.
If athletes give their best performances by imagining themselves winning over and over again, why not start instructing your subconscious to go and get the things you desire by focusing your attention on exactly what you do want to happen? Let yourself daydream about how great life could be if all your self directed communication and imagination were creating the opportunities you need to live your wildest dreams.
The words you use to communicate with yourself have an enormously powerful effect on your nervous system. They can build you up or they can knock you down. That little voice in your head that chatters away to you all day long plays a major part in determining the quality of your self-image which, in turn, is responsible for telling you what you think of yourself.
Your subconscious pays attention to what ever you say to yourself and, be it true or not, acts on your communication as if it’s an undeniable fact. Therefore, when you say something like “I can’t do it”, your subconscious instructs your nervous system to respond appropriately and shuts off access to the parts of you that potentially can do it. If on the other hand you were to say, “I’m committed to improving my current ability”, you set yourself up to create possibilities that otherwise would have been ignored.
Questions can be even more destructive if used negatively. For example, if you were to ask yourself, “Why does this always happen to me?”, not only are you likely to be making an over generalisation, but your subconscious will dutifully go on a search and seek out any evidence that supports you in believing the notion to be correct, even if it has to make some stuff up!!! Alternatively, a more positively phrased question such as “how could I change my approach to get a better result?” causes you to shift your attention away from failure and toward success.
There is an expression in my line of work that says, “You always get more of what you focus on”. This can be applied to any area of your life. Too many people focus on what they do not want to happen: “I don’t want to be fat”, “I don’t want to be poor”, “I don’t want to look stupid”… However, in order to know what it is that you don’t want in your life you first have to make a vivid representation of it in your head. The pictures you paint in your mind are even more powerful than words you use. Your subconscious always interprets mental images as targets to aim for, even if the image is not your desired outcome. The more you think in these terms the stronger you will be subconsciously steered towards the very thing you want to avoid.
If athletes give their best performances by imagining themselves winning over and over again, why not start instructing your subconscious to go and get the things you desire by focusing your attention on exactly what you do want to happen? Let yourself daydream about how great life could be if all your self directed communication and imagination were creating the opportunities you need to live your wildest dreams.
Monday, October 20, 2008
COMMIT TO A SIMPLE PHILOSOPHY
Anyone who has ever committed to developing their inner self will know that taking the road less traveled is not always easy. Of course, the intention of embarking on such a journey is to arrive at simplicity in your life, where you are at peace with yourself and a lover of reality. Getting there, however, can involve more questions that answers and inevitably presents challenges that can lead to confusion and frustration.
There is a lot of help out there. There are many teachers, trainers, coaches, therapists and leaders who can provide you with the map of how to get you to where you want to go, but too much information is sometimes counter productive. Simplicity is the key.
Where there are a million ways of learning a lesson, find the ONE that works for you. You do not have to digest the wisdom of every teacher you come across, only the one who seems to connect with you as if they know you. That teacher may communicate to you through a book, a website, a class, a friendship, or where ever. There seems to be a natural law that states the most truthful philosophies are also the most uncomplicated. Commit to learning simple lessons and live them 100%.
The following is a brief summary of a very simple philosophy for life, by Don Miguel Ruiz; he calls them The Four Agreements. There is nothing complicated here, but if you were to become the living embodiment of these principles you’d surely be living a very joyous life indeed!
1. Be Impeccable With Your Word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
2. Don't Take Anything Personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.
3. Don't Make Assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
4. Always Do Your Best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
There is a lot of help out there. There are many teachers, trainers, coaches, therapists and leaders who can provide you with the map of how to get you to where you want to go, but too much information is sometimes counter productive. Simplicity is the key.
Where there are a million ways of learning a lesson, find the ONE that works for you. You do not have to digest the wisdom of every teacher you come across, only the one who seems to connect with you as if they know you. That teacher may communicate to you through a book, a website, a class, a friendship, or where ever. There seems to be a natural law that states the most truthful philosophies are also the most uncomplicated. Commit to learning simple lessons and live them 100%.
The following is a brief summary of a very simple philosophy for life, by Don Miguel Ruiz; he calls them The Four Agreements. There is nothing complicated here, but if you were to become the living embodiment of these principles you’d surely be living a very joyous life indeed!
1. Be Impeccable With Your Word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
2. Don't Take Anything Personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.
3. Don't Make Assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
4. Always Do Your Best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
A SHORT EXPLANATION OF NLP
Although Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) was developed over three decades ago, it is only in recent years that the world is beginning to discover why it is one of the most powerful methods for creating positive and lasting change in individuals. NLP is unique in that it focuses exclusively on how the results we achieve in our lives are determined by the way we communicate with ourselves internally (also referred to as internal states).
NLP can be translated as:
Neuro = Your Nervous System (the mind & body working together)
Linguistic = Language & Communication (verbal & non-verbal)
Programming = The process used to achieve consistent results
Therefore NLP is the methodology of learning to communicate with your nervous system in a way that consistently produces the results you desire. In other words, it’s knowing how to run your own brain to get what you want in a way that’s right for you.
You see, in order to have any experience in life and know whether it’s good or bad you have to communicate with yourself, and it’s the specific way in which you do this that determines the quality of your experience. Often, the difference between someone who thinks they can do something and someone who thinks they can’t is the way they represent the situation to themselves in their minds.
When working with clients I use a range of NLP techniques to help them access their most resourceful states and identify a strategy for resolving their problems in an easy and positive way. This can often create a high level of self awareness that typically leads to improvements in other areas of their life too.
Try out this simple exercise and experience how NLP can be used to generate a positive state in you: How to feel great on purpose.
NLP can be translated as:
Neuro = Your Nervous System (the mind & body working together)
Linguistic = Language & Communication (verbal & non-verbal)
Programming = The process used to achieve consistent results
Therefore NLP is the methodology of learning to communicate with your nervous system in a way that consistently produces the results you desire. In other words, it’s knowing how to run your own brain to get what you want in a way that’s right for you.
You see, in order to have any experience in life and know whether it’s good or bad you have to communicate with yourself, and it’s the specific way in which you do this that determines the quality of your experience. Often, the difference between someone who thinks they can do something and someone who thinks they can’t is the way they represent the situation to themselves in their minds.
When working with clients I use a range of NLP techniques to help them access their most resourceful states and identify a strategy for resolving their problems in an easy and positive way. This can often create a high level of self awareness that typically leads to improvements in other areas of their life too.
Try out this simple exercise and experience how NLP can be used to generate a positive state in you: How to feel great on purpose.
Friday, October 17, 2008
THE IMPORTANCE OF PUTTING YOU FIRST
“In order to give your best to others, you have to put yourself first. It’s not selfish, it’s crucial.” - Paul Dalton
Everyone wants to think of themselves as a good person. Many, however, have adopted the belief that in order to be a good person they have to put other’s needs before their own. This is rarely the result of conscious choice, but rather a consequence of upbringing, or conditioning.
When we were young we learned that if we misbehaved the people we depended upon for survival seemed to take away the love we so desperately sought. We also learned that being good and “doing as we were told” got us the rewards of praise and affection. The result for many, even in adulthood, is to unconsciously believe that love and security are only given when we do the things that other people want us to do, so we instinctively put them first. It is, of course, good to be surrounded by those who love you, but that love does not have to be at the cost of your own personal growth and self-fulfilment.
Have you ever considered that you are important to the people who are important to you? If the boot was on the other foot, would you feel satisfied knowing that someone you care deeply for was sacrificing their own creativity and potential in order to do the things that please you? The truth is the people you love want you to be the fullest most positive expression of yourself – that’s why they cherish you!!!
Putting yourself first might feel a little unnatural to begin with, but when you understand the reason why it’s so important it will become an attitude you are willing adopt. Ask yourself these two questions: 1, How does me feeling unfulfilled and out of touch with my own self worth in any way add value for the people I care about? 2, How much would my relationships benefit if I felt truly content and inspired to grow as a person?
The truth is you can only put into a relationship what you have to give in the first place. Investing quality time and effort into yourself literally provides you with the positive energy and focus that’s required to nurture and support those around you. And they will really appreciate you for you it. Talk about a win win situation!
Do it now! Set aside time in your diary to have fun, play, read, socialise, learn, exercise, create, discover……what ever it is that inspires you.
Everyone wants to think of themselves as a good person. Many, however, have adopted the belief that in order to be a good person they have to put other’s needs before their own. This is rarely the result of conscious choice, but rather a consequence of upbringing, or conditioning.
When we were young we learned that if we misbehaved the people we depended upon for survival seemed to take away the love we so desperately sought. We also learned that being good and “doing as we were told” got us the rewards of praise and affection. The result for many, even in adulthood, is to unconsciously believe that love and security are only given when we do the things that other people want us to do, so we instinctively put them first. It is, of course, good to be surrounded by those who love you, but that love does not have to be at the cost of your own personal growth and self-fulfilment.
Have you ever considered that you are important to the people who are important to you? If the boot was on the other foot, would you feel satisfied knowing that someone you care deeply for was sacrificing their own creativity and potential in order to do the things that please you? The truth is the people you love want you to be the fullest most positive expression of yourself – that’s why they cherish you!!!
Putting yourself first might feel a little unnatural to begin with, but when you understand the reason why it’s so important it will become an attitude you are willing adopt. Ask yourself these two questions: 1, How does me feeling unfulfilled and out of touch with my own self worth in any way add value for the people I care about? 2, How much would my relationships benefit if I felt truly content and inspired to grow as a person?
The truth is you can only put into a relationship what you have to give in the first place. Investing quality time and effort into yourself literally provides you with the positive energy and focus that’s required to nurture and support those around you. And they will really appreciate you for you it. Talk about a win win situation!
Do it now! Set aside time in your diary to have fun, play, read, socialise, learn, exercise, create, discover……what ever it is that inspires you.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
SOPHISTICATION
This is a great gem from the great Jim Rohn. So many times I find myself thinking long and hard about how to wrap the complexities of human behaviour into easy to understand metaphors.... and then you get the likes of Jim Rohn who come along and so elegantly hit the nail right on the head!! I hope you enjoy this short peice from Jim about what sophisticated people know, that other's don't:
Most people are just trying to get through the day. Sophisticated people learn how to get from the day.
Sophistication is understanding the difference between trinkets and treasures.
Don't spend major money on minor things. In the last ten years the guy has bought two tons of donuts and only two books – and the books are primarily filled with pictures.
Sophisticated people don't leave early. The man says, "Yeah, but I want to beat the traffic." Isn't that a great skill to have - beating the traffic!
It doesn't take a million dollars to learn the difference between a bottle of fine wine and a Pepsi. Sophistication is a study not an amount.
One of the early signs of sophistication is not giving way to all inclinations but rather sending your emotions to school so they will learn how to behave.
Money doesn't make you sophisticated. Only study and practice make you sophisticated. Even people of modest means can become sophisticated because it is within study and practice. How much is a night out at the symphony? About thirty dollars. You say, "Poor people can't afford thirty dollars to go to the symphony." Yes, they can. It's only thirty Hershey bars!
We must teach our children not to spend their money a dollar at a time. If you spend your money a dollar at a time, you´ll wind up with trinkets instead of treasures. You can´t buy much of value a dollar at a time.
Most people are just trying to get through the day. Sophisticated people learn how to get from the day.
Sophistication is understanding the difference between trinkets and treasures.
Don't spend major money on minor things. In the last ten years the guy has bought two tons of donuts and only two books – and the books are primarily filled with pictures.
Sophisticated people don't leave early. The man says, "Yeah, but I want to beat the traffic." Isn't that a great skill to have - beating the traffic!
It doesn't take a million dollars to learn the difference between a bottle of fine wine and a Pepsi. Sophistication is a study not an amount.
One of the early signs of sophistication is not giving way to all inclinations but rather sending your emotions to school so they will learn how to behave.
Money doesn't make you sophisticated. Only study and practice make you sophisticated. Even people of modest means can become sophisticated because it is within study and practice. How much is a night out at the symphony? About thirty dollars. You say, "Poor people can't afford thirty dollars to go to the symphony." Yes, they can. It's only thirty Hershey bars!
We must teach our children not to spend their money a dollar at a time. If you spend your money a dollar at a time, you´ll wind up with trinkets instead of treasures. You can´t buy much of value a dollar at a time.
Friday, January 11, 2008
LIVE YOUR VALUES
Whenever I meet anyone who is unsatisfied with the state of their life, it usually only takes a short conversation to discover that they spend a lot of time doing things that conflict with their true personal values. An example of this is someone who is highly creative at heart, but whose job requires them to stick to the rules. Or a gentle caring type of person who is surrounded by hard nosed straight talkers. It’s quite easy in today’s society to fall into the rut of maintaining a lifestyle, while forgetting what it is that makes that lifestyle important to us in the first place.
We all have a set of values that defines our inner characters, and when we are prevented from doing the things that put us in touch with these values we can begin to feel frustrated or even empty. Numerous studies into what makes people happy have consistently shown that the most important ingredient for life satisfaction is having plenty of opportunity to express your true self.
I often talk with people who claim they do not know what their values are, so I explain that true values are just the personal qualities that you feel are important to have for yourself. Everyone’s values are different and one way to find out what yours are is to follow this simple exercise:
Imagine that its way off in the future and someone close to you is presenting you with a lifetime achievement award at a glamorous ceremony. How would you like for them introduce you to the audience? E.g. “Mary is such a loving person who has brought great happiness to those who know her. Her creative nature has always ensured that life’s obstacles were overcome with grace and dignity. She is an honest and loyal friend whose positive and humorous approach to life had been a great inspiration to others.” Thinking about how you would like others to view you is a good indication of the values you consider important. As you think about this, honestly assess how much of yourself you are currently putting into living these values now. What could you do right now to be that deserving person collecting the award?
Money can be a very handy bonus for most of us, but do not mistake financial status as a true personal value. I recently had very bizarre conversation with a man who said he works all hours god sends so that one day he will be rich enough to spend more time with his family!!! Why doesn’t he ditch the job and live that value now? If your life is not currently reflecting what’s important to you, how could you plan to change it so that you are free to be the fullest most positive expression of yourself?
We all have a set of values that defines our inner characters, and when we are prevented from doing the things that put us in touch with these values we can begin to feel frustrated or even empty. Numerous studies into what makes people happy have consistently shown that the most important ingredient for life satisfaction is having plenty of opportunity to express your true self.
I often talk with people who claim they do not know what their values are, so I explain that true values are just the personal qualities that you feel are important to have for yourself. Everyone’s values are different and one way to find out what yours are is to follow this simple exercise:
Imagine that its way off in the future and someone close to you is presenting you with a lifetime achievement award at a glamorous ceremony. How would you like for them introduce you to the audience? E.g. “Mary is such a loving person who has brought great happiness to those who know her. Her creative nature has always ensured that life’s obstacles were overcome with grace and dignity. She is an honest and loyal friend whose positive and humorous approach to life had been a great inspiration to others.” Thinking about how you would like others to view you is a good indication of the values you consider important. As you think about this, honestly assess how much of yourself you are currently putting into living these values now. What could you do right now to be that deserving person collecting the award?
Money can be a very handy bonus for most of us, but do not mistake financial status as a true personal value. I recently had very bizarre conversation with a man who said he works all hours god sends so that one day he will be rich enough to spend more time with his family!!! Why doesn’t he ditch the job and live that value now? If your life is not currently reflecting what’s important to you, how could you plan to change it so that you are free to be the fullest most positive expression of yourself?
DON’T LET FEAR HOLD YOU BACK
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure” - Marianne Williamson
Many people interpret their fear of doing things as a reason not to do them. Sound familiar? I know I’m often as guilty as the next for allowing this to happen. The paradox about fear is that the more we experience it, the more we need to face it. This is not because we are gluttons for punishment, but because nothing is more effective at making us grow as human beings than our willingness to push passed the blocks that are holding us back. The more important something is to us, the more likely we are to experience a fear about going to get it. It does not mean, however, that we should be excused from working toward our desired outcomes. Fear is simply the indicator that lets us know they’re worth working for in the first place.
It may help you to know that no one on the face of this earth is immune to fear. Behind all great achievements are piles of rubble where the walls of uncertainty have been broken through. Imagine what the world would be like now if fear actually did stop everyone from taking action to discover better ways of living.
One of the biggest fears that can prevent people from achieving greater rewards in their life is the fear of failure. What happens if it all goes wrong? When you think like this you are only mistaking set-backs for end results. It is not game over. If something turns out differently than you wanted, you will always be able to learn from the experience and use it to change your approach. Virtually every successful person can tell you of the multiple failures they had to encounter in order to hit their jackpot. Failure = Experience = Success.
I am always hearing people say things like, “When I feel more confident in myself, then I’ll do it”. You do not have to feel totally ready before you start dealing with your fear. Confidence is a by-product of the fear bashing process. It is only when you start taking action, despite feeling frightened, that your confidence takes on a whole new lease of life.
Breaking your goals down into easy to manage chunks reduces the overwhelming sensation that can sometimes be attached to the greater objective. Doing something little everyday towards your desired future will soon add up to a significant positive difference in your life.
Remember, fear is a guaranteed and useful part of life. The choice is, do you continue to sacrifice your dreams because of it, or do you make the decision right now to pursue a better life despite its existence?
Many people interpret their fear of doing things as a reason not to do them. Sound familiar? I know I’m often as guilty as the next for allowing this to happen. The paradox about fear is that the more we experience it, the more we need to face it. This is not because we are gluttons for punishment, but because nothing is more effective at making us grow as human beings than our willingness to push passed the blocks that are holding us back. The more important something is to us, the more likely we are to experience a fear about going to get it. It does not mean, however, that we should be excused from working toward our desired outcomes. Fear is simply the indicator that lets us know they’re worth working for in the first place.
It may help you to know that no one on the face of this earth is immune to fear. Behind all great achievements are piles of rubble where the walls of uncertainty have been broken through. Imagine what the world would be like now if fear actually did stop everyone from taking action to discover better ways of living.
One of the biggest fears that can prevent people from achieving greater rewards in their life is the fear of failure. What happens if it all goes wrong? When you think like this you are only mistaking set-backs for end results. It is not game over. If something turns out differently than you wanted, you will always be able to learn from the experience and use it to change your approach. Virtually every successful person can tell you of the multiple failures they had to encounter in order to hit their jackpot. Failure = Experience = Success.
I am always hearing people say things like, “When I feel more confident in myself, then I’ll do it”. You do not have to feel totally ready before you start dealing with your fear. Confidence is a by-product of the fear bashing process. It is only when you start taking action, despite feeling frightened, that your confidence takes on a whole new lease of life.
Breaking your goals down into easy to manage chunks reduces the overwhelming sensation that can sometimes be attached to the greater objective. Doing something little everyday towards your desired future will soon add up to a significant positive difference in your life.
Remember, fear is a guaranteed and useful part of life. The choice is, do you continue to sacrifice your dreams because of it, or do you make the decision right now to pursue a better life despite its existence?
Many people interpret their fear of doing things as a reason not to do them. Sound familiar? I know I’m often as guilty as the next for allowing this to happen. The paradox about fear is that the more we experience it, the more we need to face it. This is not because we are gluttons for punishment, but because nothing is more effective at making us grow as human beings than our willingness to push passed the blocks that are holding us back. The more important something is to us, the more likely we are to experience a fear about going to get it. It does not mean, however, that we should be excused from working toward our desired outcomes. Fear is simply the indicator that lets us know they’re worth working for in the first place.
It may help you to know that no one on the face of this earth is immune to fear. Behind all great achievements are piles of rubble where the walls of uncertainty have been broken through. Imagine what the world would be like now if fear actually did stop everyone from taking action to discover better ways of living.
One of the biggest fears that can prevent people from achieving greater rewards in their life is the fear of failure. What happens if it all goes wrong? When you think like this you are only mistaking set-backs for end results. It is not game over. If something turns out differently than you wanted, you will always be able to learn from the experience and use it to change your approach. Virtually every successful person can tell you of the multiple failures they had to encounter in order to hit their jackpot. Failure = Experience = Success.
I am always hearing people say things like, “When I feel more confident in myself, then I’ll do it”. You do not have to feel totally ready before you start dealing with your fear. Confidence is a by-product of the fear bashing process. It is only when you start taking action, despite feeling frightened, that your confidence takes on a whole new lease of life.
Breaking your goals down into easy to manage chunks reduces the overwhelming sensation that can sometimes be attached to the greater objective. Doing something little everyday towards your desired future will soon add up to a significant positive difference in your life.
Remember, fear is a guaranteed and useful part of life. The choice is, do you continue to sacrifice your dreams because of it, or do you make the decision right now to pursue a better life despite its existence?
Many people interpret their fear of doing things as a reason not to do them. Sound familiar? I know I’m often as guilty as the next for allowing this to happen. The paradox about fear is that the more we experience it, the more we need to face it. This is not because we are gluttons for punishment, but because nothing is more effective at making us grow as human beings than our willingness to push passed the blocks that are holding us back. The more important something is to us, the more likely we are to experience a fear about going to get it. It does not mean, however, that we should be excused from working toward our desired outcomes. Fear is simply the indicator that lets us know they’re worth working for in the first place.
It may help you to know that no one on the face of this earth is immune to fear. Behind all great achievements are piles of rubble where the walls of uncertainty have been broken through. Imagine what the world would be like now if fear actually did stop everyone from taking action to discover better ways of living.
One of the biggest fears that can prevent people from achieving greater rewards in their life is the fear of failure. What happens if it all goes wrong? When you think like this you are only mistaking set-backs for end results. It is not game over. If something turns out differently than you wanted, you will always be able to learn from the experience and use it to change your approach. Virtually every successful person can tell you of the multiple failures they had to encounter in order to hit their jackpot. Failure = Experience = Success.
I am always hearing people say things like, “When I feel more confident in myself, then I’ll do it”. You do not have to feel totally ready before you start dealing with your fear. Confidence is a by-product of the fear bashing process. It is only when you start taking action, despite feeling frightened, that your confidence takes on a whole new lease of life.
Breaking your goals down into easy to manage chunks reduces the overwhelming sensation that can sometimes be attached to the greater objective. Doing something little everyday towards your desired future will soon add up to a significant positive difference in your life.
Remember, fear is a guaranteed and useful part of life. The choice is, do you continue to sacrifice your dreams because of it, or do you make the decision right now to pursue a better life despite its existence?
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