“Life is what you think it is, and gives you what you dare to dream it will.” - Anon
One of the aspects of the human condition that I find fascinating is the way that we overcome the challenges in our lives tends to be consistent with how easy or difficult we first imagine those challenges to be. We pre-empt the obstacles that are like to present difficulties, and run a mental rehearsal of our ability to deal with them. Of course, this is a very handy skill to have if you use that rehearsal time wisely, to solve any potential problems before they occur. But if it conjures up images of you getting stuck and frustrated then that is likely to act as precursor for you getting stuck and frustrated in reality.
Barry Kaufman (founder of the Option Institute) once said, “The eye sees what it brings to seeing”, and I think that sums things up perfectly. The moment we predict something is going to be hard, we engage in a search for all the evidence we can find to back-up our assumption. - “I believe life is a struggle, and just to prove it here I am struggling”
So here is a nice little exercise to get your brain accessing the parts of your wisdom that make triumphing over challenges seem effortless.
Exercise:
1, Think about a specific challenge you have that you feel is preventing you to achieving the kind of results you want. Make a statement out of it. Examples:
“It is going to be difficult to learn this new skill.”
“I’m no good at managing money.”
“People are not interested in what I have to say”.
2, Turn that statement around so that it has an opposite meaning. Play around with a few opposites until you find one that feels right and you want to work with. E.g. for some people it might be, “Learning this new skill is going to be a breeze.” For others it might be “Learning is a natural part of who I am”
3, Add this sentence starter onto the end of your statement:
“And I know that’s true because…”
4, Finish that sentence with as many ‘real’ pieces of evidence as you can think of. I’d suggest at least five, but encourage you to keep going and going.
“Learning this new skill is going to be a breeze, and I know that’s true because….
… skilfulness has more to do with practice than talent”
… I’ve seen other people doing it well, so I know it is very possible for me too”
… there is an abundance of people who will help me if I ask”
… I am willing to keep going with enthusiasm”
… there are many skills I can do easily now that I once found challenging”
Namaste
Paul
Showing posts with label influence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label influence. Show all posts
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Friday, July 24, 2009
Monday, January 19, 2009
BE THE CHANGE...
Quotes are such powerful directors of thought. They have the ability to condense big and complex ideas or concepts into short, snappy phrases that cut straight through to the simple truth of things.
One of the quotes that has had the most profound and lasting effect on me comes from Gandhi. He said "You must be the change you wish to see in the world".
When I heard this for the first time I experienced a massive light bulb moment. Everything I had been seeking to learn about how to positively influence the world around me suddenly came together in flash of clarity. That instant I realised that in order for things to get better, I was going to have to get better.
This is what getting better meant to me:
One of the quotes that has had the most profound and lasting effect on me comes from Gandhi. He said "You must be the change you wish to see in the world".
When I heard this for the first time I experienced a massive light bulb moment. Everything I had been seeking to learn about how to positively influence the world around me suddenly came together in flash of clarity. That instant I realised that in order for things to get better, I was going to have to get better.
This is what getting better meant to me:
- If I want others to be kind and considered towards me.... I must demonstrate kindness and consideration towards them
- If I wanted them to be motivated... I must show them I am motivated
- If I want to be wealthy... I must give my heartfelt warm wishes to those who are already wealthy (there is no room for hidden jealousy)
- If I want to attract love into my life... I must be the embodiment of love
- If I want harmony in the world... I must be harmonious
- If I want to be appreciated... I must share
- If I want to be heard... I must listen
- If I want to receive... I must give
Like attracts like. Nothing in your life will improve by listing everything that is wrong with the world (or the people in it). The most powerful influencing tool you possess is your ability to be the example of what you desire there to be more of.
People only respond to you in ways that are consistent with the manner in which you present yourself. If you change, then they have to change also to accommodate it. That is the nature of human interaction.
You will rarely make someone see your point of view by arguing with theirs. If you want them to understand you, then understand them. Somewhere along the line there is a truth you can both agree with.
Peace will never be achieved through war. Mother Teresa often refused to take part in anti-war marches, requesting that they should give her a call if they ever decide to walk for peace. This distinction is critical.
Think about the situations and people in your own life. What would being the change you wish to see in the world mean for you? What are you frustrated by? What do you need to be doing, or being, that you have not already that will cause the world to respond more favourably towards you?
Sunday, October 19, 2008
A SHORT EXPLANATION OF NLP
Although Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) was developed over three decades ago, it is only in recent years that the world is beginning to discover why it is one of the most powerful methods for creating positive and lasting change in individuals. NLP is unique in that it focuses exclusively on how the results we achieve in our lives are determined by the way we communicate with ourselves internally (also referred to as internal states).
NLP can be translated as:
Neuro = Your Nervous System (the mind & body working together)
Linguistic = Language & Communication (verbal & non-verbal)
Programming = The process used to achieve consistent results
Therefore NLP is the methodology of learning to communicate with your nervous system in a way that consistently produces the results you desire. In other words, it’s knowing how to run your own brain to get what you want in a way that’s right for you.
You see, in order to have any experience in life and know whether it’s good or bad you have to communicate with yourself, and it’s the specific way in which you do this that determines the quality of your experience. Often, the difference between someone who thinks they can do something and someone who thinks they can’t is the way they represent the situation to themselves in their minds.
When working with clients I use a range of NLP techniques to help them access their most resourceful states and identify a strategy for resolving their problems in an easy and positive way. This can often create a high level of self awareness that typically leads to improvements in other areas of their life too.
Try out this simple exercise and experience how NLP can be used to generate a positive state in you: How to feel great on purpose.
NLP can be translated as:
Neuro = Your Nervous System (the mind & body working together)
Linguistic = Language & Communication (verbal & non-verbal)
Programming = The process used to achieve consistent results
Therefore NLP is the methodology of learning to communicate with your nervous system in a way that consistently produces the results you desire. In other words, it’s knowing how to run your own brain to get what you want in a way that’s right for you.
You see, in order to have any experience in life and know whether it’s good or bad you have to communicate with yourself, and it’s the specific way in which you do this that determines the quality of your experience. Often, the difference between someone who thinks they can do something and someone who thinks they can’t is the way they represent the situation to themselves in their minds.
When working with clients I use a range of NLP techniques to help them access their most resourceful states and identify a strategy for resolving their problems in an easy and positive way. This can often create a high level of self awareness that typically leads to improvements in other areas of their life too.
Try out this simple exercise and experience how NLP can be used to generate a positive state in you: How to feel great on purpose.
Monday, April 7, 2008
The Law of Circulation
What Is The Law Of Circulation?
Law of Circulation - Flow of Giving and ReceivingPosted by Enoch Tan - Share this article with friends!
The law of circulation states that all things in the universe is always flowing in circulation but at an ever expanding rate. What you give to one person, you will receive from a different source. So you don’t have to give with the expectation of receiving back from the same person you give to, but knowing that it will definitely come back to you multiplied from other sources. It works according to the law of cause and effect where the universe always mirrors back to you whatever you do.
It’s important to notice how you respond to compliments especially when they are sincere and valid. Do you downplay it, decline it or ignore it? Do you say something like “Oh it’s nothing.” The reason why you do not accept other people’s compliments about you is because you do not accept them about yourself. Learn to have complete self acceptance so that you can look others in the eye and say “Thank you.” The reason why it is important to accept compliments is that it allows the other person to give something to us.
Do not refuse anything good that is offered to you. If someone offers you a gift, take the gift and just say, “Thank You.” If you are in a restaurant and someone wants to pay the bill, don’t argue. Just say, “Thank you” and allow them to give to you. Give up your beliefs about accepting gifts from others. Forget about feeling vulnerable or owing them something. Don’t decline it because you do not want to be affected by the law of reciprocity.
If someone gives you something you don’t like or you don’t need, pass it on to someone else who can use it or enjoy it. As you do this, everyone gets to win. When you refuse a gift from anyone, you are not only blocking the flow of abundance in your life, but you are also blocking the flow of abundance in the giver’s life.
If you wanted to give a gift, wouldn’t you want someone to receive your gift? Remember, there can’t be a giver without a receiver. Whenever you accept a gift, know that you are helping yourself and the giver to complete the cycle of giving and receiving.
Of course you can decline a gift when it is given for the wrong purpose or the wrong motive. When you know that someone is giving you something for the purpose of enticing you to do something that is not to your best benefit, you have every right to decline the gift. True giving is always out of love. Love is the purest motive force and giving is the expression of love. When someone gives to you out of love, you can accept it.
You can still choose to accept a gift when the person is giving for the wrong reasons though. Any harm caused will only be to themselves but you will benefit. You should treat every gift you receive as a gift that you are receiving from the universe. It is ultimately the universe that gives to you no matter what channels it may give through. Even the wealth of the wicked shall be handed over to the righteous.
Positive circulation is when things increase as a result. Negative circulation is when things diminish as a result. What you hold on to will keep slipping away until there is nothing left. You can never escape the law of circulation. If you try to stop the circulation of things, it will still circulate but in a negative manner. It will be circulated through unexpected expenses such as paying for repairs and replacements of things that are damaged, stolen or lost. Look at areas in your life where you are prevented from keeping your money or being forced to spend it.
You proclaim that everything you have belongs to God when you give away a portion of it. The portion represents the whole. God accepts the portion as the whole. The portion that you give to God is blessed and therefore the remaining of all that you have is also blessed. As we circulate our money freely, more money flows into our lives.
We are all stewards of the universe resources. If you do not circulate what you have for the work of the universe, what you have will be taken away and given to another who is doing so. Don’t worry about people who are selfish and do not give. If you keep giving and being in flow, even what others hoard from you will somehow be made by the universe to be given to you. So you can rest in the truth that you will always have whatever you want and no one can hold it from you. You never have to withhold from giving others what they want just because they withhold from giving what you want.
Of course you shouldn’t anyhow give but give wisely. You should give to where your giving would do the most good so that it would flourish. You should give to someone or some place that contributes to your personal growth or happiness. Give to where you receive spiritual nourishment from. Give to people who inspire you, help you and love you. Give to where you receive the most joy. Give to where it makes you most happy to give. You should give most of all to where you are personally involved in.
Positive circulation increases the value of things because it is beneficial to both giver and receiver. Negative circulation decrease the value of things because it is detrimental to one or both parties. Positive circulation occurs when what is received is combined and transformed into something better and given away again. Negative circulation occurs when what is received cannot or isn’t used but is released in a state that is worse than before. An example is the money making scams of life.
It is better to give in smaller amounts but more frequently than to give in large amounts but less frequently. It is consistency of giving and not magnitude that has the effect. When you give frequently, you are in constant flow and there is no stagnation. When you give only large amounts now and then, you will be in stagnation during periods where you are not giving. Think about constant circulation to keep the water in a tank fresh and clear, compared to changing it completely only now and then.
Whenever you give something to others, you should also allow them to give something back to you if they desire to. If they have allowed you the favor of expressing abundance towards them, you show also allow them the favor of expressing abundance towards you. It is perfectly alright to set up an exchange of value by having others pay for what you have to offer. It is also a way of allow circulation to take place that will lead to the increase of your own wealth and the wealth of the world.
We can’t give that which we don’t have. It is a joyful thing to have so that we can share. When you help people by sacrificing yourself to be of service to others, you will feel resentful for it and end up paying a much higher price. That is because correct giving must be a circulation and not just an outflow. When you give, you need to receive something in return in order to enable yourself to continue to give more. Your can only give in proportion with your ability to receive. The best givers are the best receivers.
The key is to be abundant and happy with yourself. Then from that space you can reach out and help others. Otherwise instead of changing the world, we are just tilting the scale from one extreme to the other. Balance is found not when one is down and the other one is up, but when were are all at the same level where in our own personal way, we feel abundance, happy and fulfilled, that we are sharing our talents, resources, and gifts with one another.
Always give away whatever it is that you want. If you want love, give love. If you want money, give money. If you want knowledge, give knowledge. You will always have already been provided by the universe with a certain amount of what you want. You just want more of it. If you give out of the little that you have, much more will come back to you. If you want to have wealth, first show others how to have wealth. Whatever you want, if you cause another being to have it first, you will have it in abundance.
You are in vibrational resonance with abundance through your physical acts of giving and receiving. Giving and receiving are the two polarities of the same frequency spectrum of abundance. That is why people who have the most are the ones that give and receive the most. God gives us his all to receive back our all.
Law of Circulation - Flow of Giving and ReceivingPosted by Enoch Tan - Share this article with friends!
The law of circulation states that all things in the universe is always flowing in circulation but at an ever expanding rate. What you give to one person, you will receive from a different source. So you don’t have to give with the expectation of receiving back from the same person you give to, but knowing that it will definitely come back to you multiplied from other sources. It works according to the law of cause and effect where the universe always mirrors back to you whatever you do.
It’s important to notice how you respond to compliments especially when they are sincere and valid. Do you downplay it, decline it or ignore it? Do you say something like “Oh it’s nothing.” The reason why you do not accept other people’s compliments about you is because you do not accept them about yourself. Learn to have complete self acceptance so that you can look others in the eye and say “Thank you.” The reason why it is important to accept compliments is that it allows the other person to give something to us.
Do not refuse anything good that is offered to you. If someone offers you a gift, take the gift and just say, “Thank You.” If you are in a restaurant and someone wants to pay the bill, don’t argue. Just say, “Thank you” and allow them to give to you. Give up your beliefs about accepting gifts from others. Forget about feeling vulnerable or owing them something. Don’t decline it because you do not want to be affected by the law of reciprocity.
If someone gives you something you don’t like or you don’t need, pass it on to someone else who can use it or enjoy it. As you do this, everyone gets to win. When you refuse a gift from anyone, you are not only blocking the flow of abundance in your life, but you are also blocking the flow of abundance in the giver’s life.
If you wanted to give a gift, wouldn’t you want someone to receive your gift? Remember, there can’t be a giver without a receiver. Whenever you accept a gift, know that you are helping yourself and the giver to complete the cycle of giving and receiving.
Of course you can decline a gift when it is given for the wrong purpose or the wrong motive. When you know that someone is giving you something for the purpose of enticing you to do something that is not to your best benefit, you have every right to decline the gift. True giving is always out of love. Love is the purest motive force and giving is the expression of love. When someone gives to you out of love, you can accept it.
You can still choose to accept a gift when the person is giving for the wrong reasons though. Any harm caused will only be to themselves but you will benefit. You should treat every gift you receive as a gift that you are receiving from the universe. It is ultimately the universe that gives to you no matter what channels it may give through. Even the wealth of the wicked shall be handed over to the righteous.
Positive circulation is when things increase as a result. Negative circulation is when things diminish as a result. What you hold on to will keep slipping away until there is nothing left. You can never escape the law of circulation. If you try to stop the circulation of things, it will still circulate but in a negative manner. It will be circulated through unexpected expenses such as paying for repairs and replacements of things that are damaged, stolen or lost. Look at areas in your life where you are prevented from keeping your money or being forced to spend it.
You proclaim that everything you have belongs to God when you give away a portion of it. The portion represents the whole. God accepts the portion as the whole. The portion that you give to God is blessed and therefore the remaining of all that you have is also blessed. As we circulate our money freely, more money flows into our lives.
We are all stewards of the universe resources. If you do not circulate what you have for the work of the universe, what you have will be taken away and given to another who is doing so. Don’t worry about people who are selfish and do not give. If you keep giving and being in flow, even what others hoard from you will somehow be made by the universe to be given to you. So you can rest in the truth that you will always have whatever you want and no one can hold it from you. You never have to withhold from giving others what they want just because they withhold from giving what you want.
Of course you shouldn’t anyhow give but give wisely. You should give to where your giving would do the most good so that it would flourish. You should give to someone or some place that contributes to your personal growth or happiness. Give to where you receive spiritual nourishment from. Give to people who inspire you, help you and love you. Give to where you receive the most joy. Give to where it makes you most happy to give. You should give most of all to where you are personally involved in.
Positive circulation increases the value of things because it is beneficial to both giver and receiver. Negative circulation decrease the value of things because it is detrimental to one or both parties. Positive circulation occurs when what is received is combined and transformed into something better and given away again. Negative circulation occurs when what is received cannot or isn’t used but is released in a state that is worse than before. An example is the money making scams of life.
It is better to give in smaller amounts but more frequently than to give in large amounts but less frequently. It is consistency of giving and not magnitude that has the effect. When you give frequently, you are in constant flow and there is no stagnation. When you give only large amounts now and then, you will be in stagnation during periods where you are not giving. Think about constant circulation to keep the water in a tank fresh and clear, compared to changing it completely only now and then.
Whenever you give something to others, you should also allow them to give something back to you if they desire to. If they have allowed you the favor of expressing abundance towards them, you show also allow them the favor of expressing abundance towards you. It is perfectly alright to set up an exchange of value by having others pay for what you have to offer. It is also a way of allow circulation to take place that will lead to the increase of your own wealth and the wealth of the world.
We can’t give that which we don’t have. It is a joyful thing to have so that we can share. When you help people by sacrificing yourself to be of service to others, you will feel resentful for it and end up paying a much higher price. That is because correct giving must be a circulation and not just an outflow. When you give, you need to receive something in return in order to enable yourself to continue to give more. Your can only give in proportion with your ability to receive. The best givers are the best receivers.
The key is to be abundant and happy with yourself. Then from that space you can reach out and help others. Otherwise instead of changing the world, we are just tilting the scale from one extreme to the other. Balance is found not when one is down and the other one is up, but when were are all at the same level where in our own personal way, we feel abundance, happy and fulfilled, that we are sharing our talents, resources, and gifts with one another.
Always give away whatever it is that you want. If you want love, give love. If you want money, give money. If you want knowledge, give knowledge. You will always have already been provided by the universe with a certain amount of what you want. You just want more of it. If you give out of the little that you have, much more will come back to you. If you want to have wealth, first show others how to have wealth. Whatever you want, if you cause another being to have it first, you will have it in abundance.
You are in vibrational resonance with abundance through your physical acts of giving and receiving. Giving and receiving are the two polarities of the same frequency spectrum of abundance. That is why people who have the most are the ones that give and receive the most. God gives us his all to receive back our all.
Friday, January 11, 2008
SURROUND YOURSELF WITH POSITIVE INFLUENCES
“When you are about to embark on a journey, don’t consult those who have never left home” - Proverb
The people and things we surround ourselves with can make a huge difference to our general state of mind. I’m sure you’ve noticed that spending too much time with people who complain a lot can be a real drain on your positivity. On the other hand, I bet you also know someone who is consistently able to cheer you up just with their presence.
Your brain and nervous system are constantly responding to the input they are given. In order to understand or empathise with others, you have to go on an internal search to match their communication with an appropriate emotional response. If the people around you are full of doom and gloom the resulting images and sounds in your mind are likely to generate an impoverished emotional state in you too.
One possible way to counteract this effect is to be aware of how other people’s communication styles are affecting you emotionally and to deliberately override your own negative thoughts with more positive ones. Easier said than done? I would suggest that it is far easier to avoid the negative people in your life, or limit the time you need to spend with them. If it’s difficult to do this, at the very least you should plan to spend a lot more time with the people who are fun to be with and remind you how positive life can be with a different out look.
When you decide to climb your ladder of self improvement there will be those who see it as their job to pull you back down. They feel compelled to judge or even try to stop you bettering yourself, but only because they unconsciously recognise their own failings and would feel inadequate if you succeeded. Of course they would never admit this consciously!! Going out of your way to seek support and guidance from those who have already accomplished the things you want to achieve is the most powerful way of staying on track. Make sure you share your dreams with people who will understand and encourage you every step of the way.
The world can be a very hypnotic place, so being aware of the negative influences that suppress your true potential can give you insight into how to make your life a much more positive experience. How could you start each day with something that gets you into an inspired frame of mind? Maybe you could wake up to your favourite music, do some exercise, make time for a nice breakfast and spend a few minutes deciding what you will do today to move you closer towards your goals. This will surely put you in a more resourceful state than relying on the morning news to set the scene for the rest of your day. Remember, you always get more of what you focus on.
The people and things we surround ourselves with can make a huge difference to our general state of mind. I’m sure you’ve noticed that spending too much time with people who complain a lot can be a real drain on your positivity. On the other hand, I bet you also know someone who is consistently able to cheer you up just with their presence.
Your brain and nervous system are constantly responding to the input they are given. In order to understand or empathise with others, you have to go on an internal search to match their communication with an appropriate emotional response. If the people around you are full of doom and gloom the resulting images and sounds in your mind are likely to generate an impoverished emotional state in you too.
One possible way to counteract this effect is to be aware of how other people’s communication styles are affecting you emotionally and to deliberately override your own negative thoughts with more positive ones. Easier said than done? I would suggest that it is far easier to avoid the negative people in your life, or limit the time you need to spend with them. If it’s difficult to do this, at the very least you should plan to spend a lot more time with the people who are fun to be with and remind you how positive life can be with a different out look.
When you decide to climb your ladder of self improvement there will be those who see it as their job to pull you back down. They feel compelled to judge or even try to stop you bettering yourself, but only because they unconsciously recognise their own failings and would feel inadequate if you succeeded. Of course they would never admit this consciously!! Going out of your way to seek support and guidance from those who have already accomplished the things you want to achieve is the most powerful way of staying on track. Make sure you share your dreams with people who will understand and encourage you every step of the way.
The world can be a very hypnotic place, so being aware of the negative influences that suppress your true potential can give you insight into how to make your life a much more positive experience. How could you start each day with something that gets you into an inspired frame of mind? Maybe you could wake up to your favourite music, do some exercise, make time for a nice breakfast and spend a few minutes deciding what you will do today to move you closer towards your goals. This will surely put you in a more resourceful state than relying on the morning news to set the scene for the rest of your day. Remember, you always get more of what you focus on.
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