“Life is what you think it is, and gives you what you dare to dream it will.” - Anon
One of the aspects of the human condition that I find fascinating is the way that we overcome the challenges in our lives tends to be consistent with how easy or difficult we first imagine those challenges to be. We pre-empt the obstacles that are like to present difficulties, and run a mental rehearsal of our ability to deal with them. Of course, this is a very handy skill to have if you use that rehearsal time wisely, to solve any potential problems before they occur. But if it conjures up images of you getting stuck and frustrated then that is likely to act as precursor for you getting stuck and frustrated in reality.
Barry Kaufman (founder of the Option Institute) once said, “The eye sees what it brings to seeing”, and I think that sums things up perfectly. The moment we predict something is going to be hard, we engage in a search for all the evidence we can find to back-up our assumption. - “I believe life is a struggle, and just to prove it here I am struggling”
So here is a nice little exercise to get your brain accessing the parts of your wisdom that make triumphing over challenges seem effortless.
Exercise:
1, Think about a specific challenge you have that you feel is preventing you to achieving the kind of results you want. Make a statement out of it. Examples:
“It is going to be difficult to learn this new skill.”
“I’m no good at managing money.”
“People are not interested in what I have to say”.
2, Turn that statement around so that it has an opposite meaning. Play around with a few opposites until you find one that feels right and you want to work with. E.g. for some people it might be, “Learning this new skill is going to be a breeze.” For others it might be “Learning is a natural part of who I am”
3, Add this sentence starter onto the end of your statement:
“And I know that’s true because…”
4, Finish that sentence with as many ‘real’ pieces of evidence as you can think of. I’d suggest at least five, but encourage you to keep going and going.
“Learning this new skill is going to be a breeze, and I know that’s true because….
… skilfulness has more to do with practice than talent”
… I’ve seen other people doing it well, so I know it is very possible for me too”
… there is an abundance of people who will help me if I ask”
… I am willing to keep going with enthusiasm”
… there are many skills I can do easily now that I once found challenging”
Namaste
Paul
Showing posts with label motivation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label motivation. Show all posts
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Friday, July 24, 2009
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Getting Yourself Motivated
There is one type request that I get more than any other and that is to provide strategies for generating and maintaining motivation, some people call this ‘self-discipline’. It’s actually not that common for people to ask me for step-by-step instructions on what they need do to get a task completed. You see, most often people already know what they need to do to achieve a particular goal. They know which actions are likely to lead them towards the outcome of their desire.
Those who want to lose weight usually don’t need me to tell them to moderate their calorie intake, eat a varied and balanced selection of healthy foods and to get a good amount of exercise.
Someone who wants to get their finances into check isn’t necessarily looking for me to point out that they should spend less than they earn and cut back on the unnecessary expenses that don’t add any real value to their life.
Every smoker I’ve ever met has been intelligent enough to know that quitting cigarettes is a lot easier when you stop putting them in your mouth and lighting them.
In theory, putting into practice those actions we know will bring us success should be easy. But in practice, as we know, that is not always the case. In my experience, the one thing that prevents people from following through with their well intentioned plans, more than any other obstacle, is their own willingness to keep taking the actions they know they need to take.
I’m sure at some time or other you will have had the experience of deciding to make a positive change in your life, launching into a flurry of enthusiastic activity, only to find that no sooner have you started that you just seem to lose your appetite to continue. Your “I want to” rapidly switched to “Do I really have to?”
Surely we are not so indecisive about what we want that we can’t hold one fixed goal in our minds for long enough to build a bit of momentum around it? In the example of the person who wants to be fitter and healthier, there is no denying that they would love to have that become their reality, but if it feels so good to imagine what the outcome would be like, why are they so reluctant to play a part in making it happen?
It is because the key to unlocking your motivation in any area actually has nothing to do with how much you want the result, but what you imagine it is going take to get there.
Here’s a little thought experiment for you:
Let’s say that I wanted to give you a gift of £10 and that all you needed to do is cross over the street to collect it. If you are like most people you would probably be quite happy to take the short trip to get the money, because your focus would be on the benefit of the outcome. As you make the journey you might be thinking about what you’d like to spend the £10 on.
But let’s now rewind the experiment and start again, only this time rather than crossing the street, you’d have to walk to the other side of town.
Now, while you might still want the money, your decision as to whether or not you can be bothered to go and collect it will not be as automatic. This is because your focus will have shifted from the benefit or value you’d gain from the money, to the inconvenience of walking across town. You are more likely to be thinking about the time it is going to take you to get there and the energy you’d need to exert, rather than what having an extra £10 will do for you. You may still decide to go, but you will certainly be less motivated to do so than had the money been waiting for you just across the street.
This imaginary exercise highlights the law that underpins our motivation to do just about anything in life. It’s the good old Pain / Pleasure Principle.
Behind all human behaviour is the inbuilt desire to move away from pain and towards pleasure. Everything from getting up in the morning in order to make it to work on time, through to planning a family or going on holiday, is driven by the motivation to either avoid something that we perceive will bring us pain, or move towards something that will bring us pleasure. While some people are motivated to get up and go to work because they love their job, others are motivated to get up and go to work because they don’t want to get fired and lose the house!
The Pain / Pleasure Principle is such an integral part of being Human that without it we literally wouldn’t and couldn’t get anything done. If you’re not being moved away from or towards something then you must be standing still; not a great way for a species to evolve, I’m sure you’ll agree.
So what does this have to do with motivating ourselves to reach our goals? Well think of it this way. Imagine that ‘motivation’ is a set of balancing scales where one side represents doing the actions that lead towards the fulfilment of a goal and the other side represents avoiding doing those actions. For the purpose of this exercise let’s assume the action concerned is to going to the gym. Now, let’s also imagine that in your hand you have a heavy weight that I’m going to refer to as your “pleasure token”.
If, as you consider the possibility of going to the gym, you start associating with all the good things that would happen as a result, i.e. the endorphin release from working out; the sense of satisfaction you’ll have as you notice how much better you look and feel; the anticipation of being able to get into those smaller clothes; the compliments you’ll get; then its obvious that you’re inclined to place your heavy pleasure token on the “take action” side of the scales. When you think in these terms, motivation is not an issue, it is just a natural desire to go and exercise.
If, on the other hand, you find yourself thinking of why going to the gym might just be inconvenient or not enjoyable, i.e. it’ll be hard work; you might be sore the next day; you have to rush to get there in time; you’ll have to forego the sofa and miss some good stuff on TV; then its not surprising that you’ll place your pleasure token on the “Don’t take action” side of the scales. In this case the pleasure comes from doing nothing and choosing comfort.
Don’t forget, at our core we are just pleasure seekers! If we perceive that going to the gym has pain attached it then it must come as no shock that we’ll buy into any lame excuse as to why we don’t get around to working out.
But all is not lost. It is far easier to begin generating the motivation to do those previously “painful” activities than you might think. The secret is to practice attaching massive amounts of pleasure to getting them done, and recognising the painful consequences of not doing them.
So that leads us onto…
This week’s homework:
1, Think about something you have been putting off doing that you know if you did get around to doing would amount to a positive change in your life, and that left undone would gradually lead to negative consequences.
2, Now take a moment to relax with a few deep breaths to get yourself into a settled and creative state.
3, Close your eyes and imagine that in front of you are two paths running away from you and parallel to each other. The path on your left represents a future where you continue to choose to do nothing about working towards the outcome you’d like to have happen. The path on the right represents the future where you do take the necessary actions to achieve that goal.
[For this demonstration we’re going to be travelling along each path one year into the future, but when you do this for yourself you might want to adjust the timeframe shorter or longer depending on what feels most realistic for your goal]
4, So, here we are today [what ever today’s date is], and we have a choice. We can either choose action or inaction for our future path, so let try each one out. Imagine that you have walked along the left hand path of inaction and you arrive one month into the future. As you think about the consequence of another month of inaction, what’s going on for you? Make it as if it is actually happening right now by seeing it through your own eyes, hearing what you hear and really feeling what it feels like. What have you been missing out on? Has anything got worse? How does this affect things like your relationships and your own happiness? Linger on it for a while before moving on.
5, Now travel further along the path to the 6 month milestone. Another six months of avoiding making that goal happen. What does that feel like? As if it’s happening, really consider what life is like now. What are all the consequences of your inaction; of choosing what you thought is the “comfortable” path? How about your relationships? Happiness? Health? Wealth? Remember to see it through your own eyes and really go with the feelings.
6, Next, go to the one year anniversary of your travels long this inaction path. As you think back to the beginning, when you had the choice to start making things happen, how does it feel to know you’ve let another entire year slip by with no change whatsoever? How did you get here? You did it one day at a time! What have been the effects of that? If you could symbolise the negative consequences into objects [e.g. piles of wasted money, mountains of junk food, bills up to your eyeballs, a ‘goodbye’ letter from someone who left you!! etc.] then imagine a years worth of those accumulated items all around you. Even thought it probably feels uncomfortable to do so, really feel it like its happening now.
7, Ok, relax for a moment. Let’s travel back to the present day and see what the other path has to offer.
8, Imagine that you’ve travelled one month along the action path, having done all the things you know to do to work towards that desired outcome. What positive benefits are you already noticing? See it, hear it and feel it through your own senses and experience how good it feels? Remember to congratulate yourself on a job well done.
9, Now go to the six month marker. Half a year of making your life better through those positive actions. What are you able to do now that you couldn’t have done six months ago? How does this affect your experience of life? Your relationships? Your health? Your finances? Let yourself really exaggerate that good feeling and stay with it for a while before moving along the path even further.
9, Right, now let’s travel to the one year anniversary of making that positive change in your life. Fully associate into how wonderful it feels to be celebrating this milestone. You did it. You made it happen. What are all the great things that you get to experience because of the steps you’ve taken over the last year? How much have things improved in terms of your happiness, relationships, health, money, direction, optimism for the future? Hold your body as you would in this situation and let the feeling radiate up to the top of your head and down the tips of your toes. Double it! Make it feel as real and as wonderful as you can. And then relax and return to the present day.
If you’ve allowed yourself to get into the spirit of this exercise and have fully associated into each step, then there is no doubt which path you’ll want to choose. Practice this as often as you like and the motivation to make those goals become your reality will just flow naturally to you!
Have a brilliant week.
Namaste
Paul
http://www.life-happens.co.uk/
Those who want to lose weight usually don’t need me to tell them to moderate their calorie intake, eat a varied and balanced selection of healthy foods and to get a good amount of exercise.
Someone who wants to get their finances into check isn’t necessarily looking for me to point out that they should spend less than they earn and cut back on the unnecessary expenses that don’t add any real value to their life.
Every smoker I’ve ever met has been intelligent enough to know that quitting cigarettes is a lot easier when you stop putting them in your mouth and lighting them.
In theory, putting into practice those actions we know will bring us success should be easy. But in practice, as we know, that is not always the case. In my experience, the one thing that prevents people from following through with their well intentioned plans, more than any other obstacle, is their own willingness to keep taking the actions they know they need to take.
I’m sure at some time or other you will have had the experience of deciding to make a positive change in your life, launching into a flurry of enthusiastic activity, only to find that no sooner have you started that you just seem to lose your appetite to continue. Your “I want to” rapidly switched to “Do I really have to?”
Surely we are not so indecisive about what we want that we can’t hold one fixed goal in our minds for long enough to build a bit of momentum around it? In the example of the person who wants to be fitter and healthier, there is no denying that they would love to have that become their reality, but if it feels so good to imagine what the outcome would be like, why are they so reluctant to play a part in making it happen?
It is because the key to unlocking your motivation in any area actually has nothing to do with how much you want the result, but what you imagine it is going take to get there.
Here’s a little thought experiment for you:
Let’s say that I wanted to give you a gift of £10 and that all you needed to do is cross over the street to collect it. If you are like most people you would probably be quite happy to take the short trip to get the money, because your focus would be on the benefit of the outcome. As you make the journey you might be thinking about what you’d like to spend the £10 on.
But let’s now rewind the experiment and start again, only this time rather than crossing the street, you’d have to walk to the other side of town.
Now, while you might still want the money, your decision as to whether or not you can be bothered to go and collect it will not be as automatic. This is because your focus will have shifted from the benefit or value you’d gain from the money, to the inconvenience of walking across town. You are more likely to be thinking about the time it is going to take you to get there and the energy you’d need to exert, rather than what having an extra £10 will do for you. You may still decide to go, but you will certainly be less motivated to do so than had the money been waiting for you just across the street.
This imaginary exercise highlights the law that underpins our motivation to do just about anything in life. It’s the good old Pain / Pleasure Principle.
Behind all human behaviour is the inbuilt desire to move away from pain and towards pleasure. Everything from getting up in the morning in order to make it to work on time, through to planning a family or going on holiday, is driven by the motivation to either avoid something that we perceive will bring us pain, or move towards something that will bring us pleasure. While some people are motivated to get up and go to work because they love their job, others are motivated to get up and go to work because they don’t want to get fired and lose the house!
The Pain / Pleasure Principle is such an integral part of being Human that without it we literally wouldn’t and couldn’t get anything done. If you’re not being moved away from or towards something then you must be standing still; not a great way for a species to evolve, I’m sure you’ll agree.
So what does this have to do with motivating ourselves to reach our goals? Well think of it this way. Imagine that ‘motivation’ is a set of balancing scales where one side represents doing the actions that lead towards the fulfilment of a goal and the other side represents avoiding doing those actions. For the purpose of this exercise let’s assume the action concerned is to going to the gym. Now, let’s also imagine that in your hand you have a heavy weight that I’m going to refer to as your “pleasure token”.
If, as you consider the possibility of going to the gym, you start associating with all the good things that would happen as a result, i.e. the endorphin release from working out; the sense of satisfaction you’ll have as you notice how much better you look and feel; the anticipation of being able to get into those smaller clothes; the compliments you’ll get; then its obvious that you’re inclined to place your heavy pleasure token on the “take action” side of the scales. When you think in these terms, motivation is not an issue, it is just a natural desire to go and exercise.
If, on the other hand, you find yourself thinking of why going to the gym might just be inconvenient or not enjoyable, i.e. it’ll be hard work; you might be sore the next day; you have to rush to get there in time; you’ll have to forego the sofa and miss some good stuff on TV; then its not surprising that you’ll place your pleasure token on the “Don’t take action” side of the scales. In this case the pleasure comes from doing nothing and choosing comfort.
Don’t forget, at our core we are just pleasure seekers! If we perceive that going to the gym has pain attached it then it must come as no shock that we’ll buy into any lame excuse as to why we don’t get around to working out.
But all is not lost. It is far easier to begin generating the motivation to do those previously “painful” activities than you might think. The secret is to practice attaching massive amounts of pleasure to getting them done, and recognising the painful consequences of not doing them.
So that leads us onto…
This week’s homework:
1, Think about something you have been putting off doing that you know if you did get around to doing would amount to a positive change in your life, and that left undone would gradually lead to negative consequences.
2, Now take a moment to relax with a few deep breaths to get yourself into a settled and creative state.
3, Close your eyes and imagine that in front of you are two paths running away from you and parallel to each other. The path on your left represents a future where you continue to choose to do nothing about working towards the outcome you’d like to have happen. The path on the right represents the future where you do take the necessary actions to achieve that goal.
[For this demonstration we’re going to be travelling along each path one year into the future, but when you do this for yourself you might want to adjust the timeframe shorter or longer depending on what feels most realistic for your goal]
4, So, here we are today [what ever today’s date is], and we have a choice. We can either choose action or inaction for our future path, so let try each one out. Imagine that you have walked along the left hand path of inaction and you arrive one month into the future. As you think about the consequence of another month of inaction, what’s going on for you? Make it as if it is actually happening right now by seeing it through your own eyes, hearing what you hear and really feeling what it feels like. What have you been missing out on? Has anything got worse? How does this affect things like your relationships and your own happiness? Linger on it for a while before moving on.
5, Now travel further along the path to the 6 month milestone. Another six months of avoiding making that goal happen. What does that feel like? As if it’s happening, really consider what life is like now. What are all the consequences of your inaction; of choosing what you thought is the “comfortable” path? How about your relationships? Happiness? Health? Wealth? Remember to see it through your own eyes and really go with the feelings.
6, Next, go to the one year anniversary of your travels long this inaction path. As you think back to the beginning, when you had the choice to start making things happen, how does it feel to know you’ve let another entire year slip by with no change whatsoever? How did you get here? You did it one day at a time! What have been the effects of that? If you could symbolise the negative consequences into objects [e.g. piles of wasted money, mountains of junk food, bills up to your eyeballs, a ‘goodbye’ letter from someone who left you!! etc.] then imagine a years worth of those accumulated items all around you. Even thought it probably feels uncomfortable to do so, really feel it like its happening now.
7, Ok, relax for a moment. Let’s travel back to the present day and see what the other path has to offer.
8, Imagine that you’ve travelled one month along the action path, having done all the things you know to do to work towards that desired outcome. What positive benefits are you already noticing? See it, hear it and feel it through your own senses and experience how good it feels? Remember to congratulate yourself on a job well done.
9, Now go to the six month marker. Half a year of making your life better through those positive actions. What are you able to do now that you couldn’t have done six months ago? How does this affect your experience of life? Your relationships? Your health? Your finances? Let yourself really exaggerate that good feeling and stay with it for a while before moving along the path even further.
9, Right, now let’s travel to the one year anniversary of making that positive change in your life. Fully associate into how wonderful it feels to be celebrating this milestone. You did it. You made it happen. What are all the great things that you get to experience because of the steps you’ve taken over the last year? How much have things improved in terms of your happiness, relationships, health, money, direction, optimism for the future? Hold your body as you would in this situation and let the feeling radiate up to the top of your head and down the tips of your toes. Double it! Make it feel as real and as wonderful as you can. And then relax and return to the present day.
If you’ve allowed yourself to get into the spirit of this exercise and have fully associated into each step, then there is no doubt which path you’ll want to choose. Practice this as often as you like and the motivation to make those goals become your reality will just flow naturally to you!
Have a brilliant week.
Namaste
Paul
http://www.life-happens.co.uk/
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
SELF DISCIPLINE AND MOTIVATION
On one of the personal development forums I contribute to someone was asking for advice on how to be more self-disciplined. Unfortunately they did not mention what activity they would like to have more discipline towards, but I guess that doesn't really matter. Discipline is discipline regardless of the subject.
I want to share with you my reply to this person, because when you understand how your mind becomes naturally disciplined and motivated you can use that knowledge to follow through with the acheivement of any goal:
Self discipline is never a problem if your motivation to do something is set in the right direction, and there are right and wrong ways to think about motivation.
We are either motivated to avoid things, e.g. "I don't want to be in debt" or "I don't want to be overweight", or we are motivated towards better outcomes, e.g. "I want the freedom of being financially independent" or "I want to feel fit and energized through achieving my ideal body weight".
People are far more likely to achieve their goals when they are focused on how good their life is going to be as a result of making it happen. The important thing to note is that this focus should not be a passive process. You must imagine your desired outcome in full Technicolor and immerse your senses completely in it. See it through your own eyes – big, right and vivid. Notice the sounds and make them loud and crisp. Imagine being in the scene as if it is happening right now and tune into how great if feels to have been successful – imagine you have a volume dial for you emotions and crank it right up.
Self discipline and motivation to do things come easily when you give your unconscious mind compelling pictures to aim for. When you allow yourself to feel the good feelings in advance of the actual success, you find a natural urge to make your reality match your internal expectation.
The word discipline literally means “to teach”. So if you want to be more self disciplined you simply need to teach your mind what you are aiming for by fantasizing about achieving your goals – and remembering to make the experience as sensory rich as you can.
When you become excited about the outcome, the discipline to follow through happens all by itself.
I want to share with you my reply to this person, because when you understand how your mind becomes naturally disciplined and motivated you can use that knowledge to follow through with the acheivement of any goal:
Self discipline is never a problem if your motivation to do something is set in the right direction, and there are right and wrong ways to think about motivation.
We are either motivated to avoid things, e.g. "I don't want to be in debt" or "I don't want to be overweight", or we are motivated towards better outcomes, e.g. "I want the freedom of being financially independent" or "I want to feel fit and energized through achieving my ideal body weight".
People are far more likely to achieve their goals when they are focused on how good their life is going to be as a result of making it happen. The important thing to note is that this focus should not be a passive process. You must imagine your desired outcome in full Technicolor and immerse your senses completely in it. See it through your own eyes – big, right and vivid. Notice the sounds and make them loud and crisp. Imagine being in the scene as if it is happening right now and tune into how great if feels to have been successful – imagine you have a volume dial for you emotions and crank it right up.
Self discipline and motivation to do things come easily when you give your unconscious mind compelling pictures to aim for. When you allow yourself to feel the good feelings in advance of the actual success, you find a natural urge to make your reality match your internal expectation.
The word discipline literally means “to teach”. So if you want to be more self disciplined you simply need to teach your mind what you are aiming for by fantasizing about achieving your goals – and remembering to make the experience as sensory rich as you can.
When you become excited about the outcome, the discipline to follow through happens all by itself.
Monday, January 19, 2009
BE THE CHANGE...
Quotes are such powerful directors of thought. They have the ability to condense big and complex ideas or concepts into short, snappy phrases that cut straight through to the simple truth of things.
One of the quotes that has had the most profound and lasting effect on me comes from Gandhi. He said "You must be the change you wish to see in the world".
When I heard this for the first time I experienced a massive light bulb moment. Everything I had been seeking to learn about how to positively influence the world around me suddenly came together in flash of clarity. That instant I realised that in order for things to get better, I was going to have to get better.
This is what getting better meant to me:
One of the quotes that has had the most profound and lasting effect on me comes from Gandhi. He said "You must be the change you wish to see in the world".
When I heard this for the first time I experienced a massive light bulb moment. Everything I had been seeking to learn about how to positively influence the world around me suddenly came together in flash of clarity. That instant I realised that in order for things to get better, I was going to have to get better.
This is what getting better meant to me:
- If I want others to be kind and considered towards me.... I must demonstrate kindness and consideration towards them
- If I wanted them to be motivated... I must show them I am motivated
- If I want to be wealthy... I must give my heartfelt warm wishes to those who are already wealthy (there is no room for hidden jealousy)
- If I want to attract love into my life... I must be the embodiment of love
- If I want harmony in the world... I must be harmonious
- If I want to be appreciated... I must share
- If I want to be heard... I must listen
- If I want to receive... I must give
Like attracts like. Nothing in your life will improve by listing everything that is wrong with the world (or the people in it). The most powerful influencing tool you possess is your ability to be the example of what you desire there to be more of.
People only respond to you in ways that are consistent with the manner in which you present yourself. If you change, then they have to change also to accommodate it. That is the nature of human interaction.
You will rarely make someone see your point of view by arguing with theirs. If you want them to understand you, then understand them. Somewhere along the line there is a truth you can both agree with.
Peace will never be achieved through war. Mother Teresa often refused to take part in anti-war marches, requesting that they should give her a call if they ever decide to walk for peace. This distinction is critical.
Think about the situations and people in your own life. What would being the change you wish to see in the world mean for you? What are you frustrated by? What do you need to be doing, or being, that you have not already that will cause the world to respond more favourably towards you?
Friday, November 21, 2008
THE SIX HUMAN NEEDS : DAY TWO - UNCERTAINTY
Yesterday I blogged about the first of the six human needs, certainty. So let''s continue by looking at the second.
Simply because the human condition has got a great sense of humour, after our need for certainty comes our need for uncertainty, or to put it another way, variety.
This is obvious when we look at how we spend our leisure time. Most people do not want to go on holiday to the same place over and over when there is a whole world to explore (of course there are exceptions). We enjoy comedy, because the unexpected makes us laugh and lighten up - It gives us new perspectives. We want to watch different types of shows on TV. We are adventure seekers and don’t always want to know what is around the next bend.
When we don’t get enough uncertainty or variety in our lives we can become complacent or frustrated. Sometimes we get confused by thinking that our lives lack meaning when actually we are just bored. This is such an easy thing to remedy – DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT.
QUESTION: When was the last time you set some time aside to just have fun, or to learn something new? What have you wanted to do for a long time that you could start planning for today?
Develop your spontaneous side. Organise a trip to somewhere you’ve never been or have never thought of going. Enrol on an evening class. Just get involved in something. In the river of life you will often get caught up on a rock and stop going with the flow. When this happens you probably just need a gentle nudge to get you moving again. Finding something different to do can often be that nudge you are looking for. Keep a notebook near you at all times and use it to write down new things that you’d like to experience. These can be as simple as seeing a particular film at the cinema, or as big as planning a world tour. This way you’ve always got a starting point whenever you find yourself in a rut.
Simply because the human condition has got a great sense of humour, after our need for certainty comes our need for uncertainty, or to put it another way, variety.
This is obvious when we look at how we spend our leisure time. Most people do not want to go on holiday to the same place over and over when there is a whole world to explore (of course there are exceptions). We enjoy comedy, because the unexpected makes us laugh and lighten up - It gives us new perspectives. We want to watch different types of shows on TV. We are adventure seekers and don’t always want to know what is around the next bend.
When we don’t get enough uncertainty or variety in our lives we can become complacent or frustrated. Sometimes we get confused by thinking that our lives lack meaning when actually we are just bored. This is such an easy thing to remedy – DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT.
QUESTION: When was the last time you set some time aside to just have fun, or to learn something new? What have you wanted to do for a long time that you could start planning for today?
Develop your spontaneous side. Organise a trip to somewhere you’ve never been or have never thought of going. Enrol on an evening class. Just get involved in something. In the river of life you will often get caught up on a rock and stop going with the flow. When this happens you probably just need a gentle nudge to get you moving again. Finding something different to do can often be that nudge you are looking for. Keep a notebook near you at all times and use it to write down new things that you’d like to experience. These can be as simple as seeing a particular film at the cinema, or as big as planning a world tour. This way you’ve always got a starting point whenever you find yourself in a rut.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
THE SIX HUMAN NEEDS : DAY ONE - CERTAINTY
Over the next week I’ll be sharing with you some detail around the six human needs. These are the fundamental drivers that determine how we get motivated to live our lives.
With each of these Needs I’ll also pose a challenging question to encourage you to think about how you take positive action to bring more balance into your live.
So without further ado, let’s get started.
HUMAN NEED 1 - CERTAINTY
In order for us to function efficiently in the world you need to be able to get out of bed in the morning and have the luxury of taking certain things for granted. Perhaps one of the first things you’d want to take for granted is that there is a bed to get of in the first place. Others will include: that there will be enough food to eat and clean water, the car will start, you’ll still have a job when you get to the office, your partner will still want to be with you when you get home, you’ll get a pay check at the end of the month.
I’m sure you’ve experienced situations where these basic areas have not been so certain, like when the boiler breaks down, or the car dies, or you lose your job; or you home. Suddenly those details that had sat in the background of your awareness become the only thing you can focus on.
QUESTION: What in your life do you really value but take for granted? Is there anything you have neglected for a while that could really do with some attention?
Take care of these details. Prevention is better than cure and you don’t miss your water ‘till your well runs dry!!
With each of these Needs I’ll also pose a challenging question to encourage you to think about how you take positive action to bring more balance into your live.
So without further ado, let’s get started.
HUMAN NEED 1 - CERTAINTY
In order for us to function efficiently in the world you need to be able to get out of bed in the morning and have the luxury of taking certain things for granted. Perhaps one of the first things you’d want to take for granted is that there is a bed to get of in the first place. Others will include: that there will be enough food to eat and clean water, the car will start, you’ll still have a job when you get to the office, your partner will still want to be with you when you get home, you’ll get a pay check at the end of the month.
I’m sure you’ve experienced situations where these basic areas have not been so certain, like when the boiler breaks down, or the car dies, or you lose your job; or you home. Suddenly those details that had sat in the background of your awareness become the only thing you can focus on.
QUESTION: What in your life do you really value but take for granted? Is there anything you have neglected for a while that could really do with some attention?
Take care of these details. Prevention is better than cure and you don’t miss your water ‘till your well runs dry!!
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
QUICK TIP FOR EXERCISE MOTIVATION
Every so often I like to contribute to some of the various online personal development forums that are out there. I find them to be a great source of inspiration - getting other people's views and tips for living positively - and it’s also a great way for me to offer my own help to people I would probably never get to meet in person. The following is a really quick visualization technique I posted on the Morning Coach Forum today (www.morningcoach.com) in response to a lady who was experiencing a lack of motivation for going to the gym.
I thought I’d copy what I wrote into the Blog today as, in my experience, this is a common issue shared by many people.
Give this a go (obviously committing your full and positive participation :o)
1, Stand up, close your eyes and take a few nice deep breaths to get yourself nice and relaxed
2, Imagine a time and a situation in the not too distant future where you are REALLY proud of the level of health and fitness you have achieved through consistently working out several times a week
3, In your mind’s eye look at that future you as if you are a 3rd party observer. Notice everything about your physical appearance. How good do you look? What is your body language like? Looking at your face, do you appear happy, confident or something else? Give yourself plenty of time to notice everything about the future you in as much detail as possible. Make the colours as vivid and bright as you can.
4, Still with your eyes closed, take a physical step forward and imagine that you are stepping into the body of that future you so that you are now seeing everything through your own eyes (like trying on a new suit of clothes!!).
5, Really let yourself become aware of how fantastic you feel. Actually put your body into that same position. Notice the abundance of heath and energy you feel and especially how much more motivated you are, having achieved this result. What does it feel like to occupy this body?
6, See what you see, hear what you hear and notice what emotions you are experiencing in this situation? Take that feeling from wherever it is inside you and crank it right up – as if you have an emotional volume dial – and send it up to the top of your head and down to the tips of your toes. Intensify the whole situation and let yourself feel as wonderful as possible while you now also think about getting yourself off to the gym. Enjoy this experience for as long as you wish before opening your eyes and reorienting yourself back to the here and now – holding onto the good feeling.
Your nervous system doesn’t know the difference between a real event and one that is vividly imagined which is why we are able to get ourselves motivated by simply directing our thoughts in the right way. Imagination is always stronger than conscious will, so the pictures you make in your mind have a much greater effect on you than what you say to yourself.
If you go ahead a try this out please let me know how you get on.
I thought I’d copy what I wrote into the Blog today as, in my experience, this is a common issue shared by many people.
Give this a go (obviously committing your full and positive participation :o)
1, Stand up, close your eyes and take a few nice deep breaths to get yourself nice and relaxed
2, Imagine a time and a situation in the not too distant future where you are REALLY proud of the level of health and fitness you have achieved through consistently working out several times a week
3, In your mind’s eye look at that future you as if you are a 3rd party observer. Notice everything about your physical appearance. How good do you look? What is your body language like? Looking at your face, do you appear happy, confident or something else? Give yourself plenty of time to notice everything about the future you in as much detail as possible. Make the colours as vivid and bright as you can.
4, Still with your eyes closed, take a physical step forward and imagine that you are stepping into the body of that future you so that you are now seeing everything through your own eyes (like trying on a new suit of clothes!!).
5, Really let yourself become aware of how fantastic you feel. Actually put your body into that same position. Notice the abundance of heath and energy you feel and especially how much more motivated you are, having achieved this result. What does it feel like to occupy this body?
6, See what you see, hear what you hear and notice what emotions you are experiencing in this situation? Take that feeling from wherever it is inside you and crank it right up – as if you have an emotional volume dial – and send it up to the top of your head and down to the tips of your toes. Intensify the whole situation and let yourself feel as wonderful as possible while you now also think about getting yourself off to the gym. Enjoy this experience for as long as you wish before opening your eyes and reorienting yourself back to the here and now – holding onto the good feeling.
Your nervous system doesn’t know the difference between a real event and one that is vividly imagined which is why we are able to get ourselves motivated by simply directing our thoughts in the right way. Imagination is always stronger than conscious will, so the pictures you make in your mind have a much greater effect on you than what you say to yourself.
If you go ahead a try this out please let me know how you get on.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
FIND YOUR PASSION AND GET UP EARLY
I have noticed a strange thing about me lately; I am spending a lot less time in bed and a lot more time working, and I love it! If you’d have told me 3 or 4 years back that this would be the case I would have thought you were nuts, because I was hypnotised by the story I was telling myself about how I was too busy trying to make ends meet to be successful at the things I really wanted to accomplish in my life. The irony is that I was so exhausted from chasing my tail, getting nowhere fast, that I was spending hours longer in bed than I do today.
So what changed? I woke up to the reality that if I actually wanted to make my goals happen I was going to have to take action every single day, and that would involve creating the spare time that I had been convinced didn’t exist. I realised that the only time available to me was the time I was wasting comatosed in my pit, so I committed to getting up earlier to start taking those steps toward a better, more fulfilling life.
What I discovered is as soon as I got into the habit of getting up and taking action straight away the result of my efforts was a real sense that I was finally getting somewhere. This caused me to get even more passionate and it wasn’t long before I looked forward to getting up early just so I could continue working.
What a transformation! I had gone from someone who could barely open his eyes until lunch time to a guy who enthusiastically leaps out of bed at the crack of dawn to make life happen just the way he wants it to. It just so happens that first thing in the morning turns out to be when I’m at my most productive and creative, so I have learned to harness that energy for making the kind of decisions that drive my business forward. Having great ideas early in the morning means it is easy to map out the actions I need to take during the day. Each and every day I get to live a life that looks a little bit more like the one I originally envisioned and it all started by simply getting up earlier in the morning and connecting with the idea of a lifestyle I am passionate about.
I am a million percent confident that anyone – ANYONE – can live an inspired life that fulfils them in every way, and two vital ingredients are Time and Passion. What small steps could you take each day to lead you toward a life that you are passionate about? If your goal is that metaphorical journey of a thousand miles you’d better take that first single step pretty soon. Time won’t wait. Set your alarm an hour earlier and get cracking with whatever is helpful and productive for you: Do some research; work on your plan; meditate on your desired outcome; write a list of crazy ideas; keep a journal to track your progress; write a blog! It doesn’t matter what you do as long as it is connected with your goals and ensures that forward momentum.
You have to make this a habit and that means pushing through any resistance for about three weeks. After this, getting up motivated will feel as natural as breathing. You’ll get good at deciding what actions really work for you, and eventually 80% of your success will come from 20% of your efforts. Now isn’t that life worth getting up early for?
"Make Life Happen just the way you want it to": www.life-happens.co.uk
So what changed? I woke up to the reality that if I actually wanted to make my goals happen I was going to have to take action every single day, and that would involve creating the spare time that I had been convinced didn’t exist. I realised that the only time available to me was the time I was wasting comatosed in my pit, so I committed to getting up earlier to start taking those steps toward a better, more fulfilling life.
What I discovered is as soon as I got into the habit of getting up and taking action straight away the result of my efforts was a real sense that I was finally getting somewhere. This caused me to get even more passionate and it wasn’t long before I looked forward to getting up early just so I could continue working.
What a transformation! I had gone from someone who could barely open his eyes until lunch time to a guy who enthusiastically leaps out of bed at the crack of dawn to make life happen just the way he wants it to. It just so happens that first thing in the morning turns out to be when I’m at my most productive and creative, so I have learned to harness that energy for making the kind of decisions that drive my business forward. Having great ideas early in the morning means it is easy to map out the actions I need to take during the day. Each and every day I get to live a life that looks a little bit more like the one I originally envisioned and it all started by simply getting up earlier in the morning and connecting with the idea of a lifestyle I am passionate about.
I am a million percent confident that anyone – ANYONE – can live an inspired life that fulfils them in every way, and two vital ingredients are Time and Passion. What small steps could you take each day to lead you toward a life that you are passionate about? If your goal is that metaphorical journey of a thousand miles you’d better take that first single step pretty soon. Time won’t wait. Set your alarm an hour earlier and get cracking with whatever is helpful and productive for you: Do some research; work on your plan; meditate on your desired outcome; write a list of crazy ideas; keep a journal to track your progress; write a blog! It doesn’t matter what you do as long as it is connected with your goals and ensures that forward momentum.
You have to make this a habit and that means pushing through any resistance for about three weeks. After this, getting up motivated will feel as natural as breathing. You’ll get good at deciding what actions really work for you, and eventually 80% of your success will come from 20% of your efforts. Now isn’t that life worth getting up early for?
"Make Life Happen just the way you want it to": www.life-happens.co.uk
Friday, September 12, 2008
GETTING MOTIVATED TO BE A HAPPY HEALTHY NON-SMOKER
Many people talk with me about stopping smoking as they have tired to quit, sometimes many times, in the past and found it just too difficult; traumatic even. Maybe you’ve caught yourself feeling secretly jealous of friends or family members who have already successfully quit cigarettes and wondered how they managed to be so strong willed. No doubt you’ve heard people say “you’ll quit when you’re ready”, and of course this is absolutely true. But what is it that causes someone to be ready? What needs to take place inside of you to ensure that achieving a life free from cigarettes is approached with 100% commitment?
The answer is simply having the right kind of motivation.
Now this may seem an obvious statement, but the key difference between those who stop smoking easily and those who fall at the first hurdle is the direction in which their minds are focused.
The fact is you can achieve just about anything in life, including becoming a non-smoker, provided there is enough leverage to drive your desire for change. Have you ever noticed how much easier it is overcome challenges when you are excited about the rewards of success?
Imagine that your motivation to quit cigarettes is like a set of balancing scales. On one side is your desire to carry on smoking (including the fears you associate with stopping) and on the other side are all the rewards and benefits of being a non-smoker. The focus of your mind adds weight to one side or the other and will determine which way the scales tip.
The problem that many people find when trying to stop smoking is they do not give themselves compelling enough reasons to tip the scales in favour of success. Of course on an intellectual level they know why they “should” stop, but their imagination is focused on how terrible it is to go without their fix, like running a mini disaster movie in their mind. As soon as there is a feeling of uneasiness, their automatic motivation is to feel better as quickly as possible, and this often results in lighting up.
People who successfully become non-smokers do so by knowing exactly how they want to benefit from quitting. They vividly imagine how great their lives will be without cigarettes. They immerse their senses in how wonderful it will feel to break the habit. They see themselves living a better life as a non-smoker and really associate into the positive sensations. Quite literally the motivation to be a non-smoker out-weighs the temptation to remain the same, even when in challenging situations.
So here is a powerful exercise for you to experience that focuses you on wanting to become a healthy, happy non-smoker. If you give this process your full attention you may well find that are motivated to stop smoking as soon as possible
CHOOSING YOUR FUTURE
It is best to read through these instructions once before carrying out each step. This exercise requires you to use your full imagination and it’s usually helpful to close your eyes, so please ensure you are in a situation where it’s safe and appropriate to do so.
1> In your mind imagine that in front of you there are two paths laid parallel to each other, stretching off into the distance, each representing alternative futures. The path on your left depicts the rest of your life should you choose NOT to quit smoking. The path on your right represents the positive ways your life improves by committing to stop smoking now.
2> Imagine taking a step forward onto the left path and arriving one month into the future (if you have the space you could even take a physical step forward). See yourself in a typical situation in a month’s time knowing that you have continued to smoke in the usual way. If you are imagining looking AT yourself, like a third party observer, mentally step into your body so you see though your own eyes. Notice everything about the situation. See what you see and hear what you hear, and as you think about the fact that you are still smoking notice exactly how you feel inside. At this stage the emotional effects might be quite small but you’ll probably start to feel disappointment that you have not quit. Really let yourself experience the event like it is actually happening now.
As the reality of the situation begins to grow, notice that beside you is a pile of cigarette butts, one for every time you smoked over the last four weeks. Really imagine what that looks like. How does it smell? How do you feel to realise that the harmful poisons and tar from each one of those cigarettes is there right inside you? Stay with this for a while before moving onto the next step.
3> Now imagine taking another step along the path, this time arriving six months into the future. Your body has had to endure another half year of harm and attack from tobacco smoke. Again, notice everything you can about where you are and what you are doing. Now vividly think about how yet another six months of smoking as impacted your life. How has your health changed? What has smoking prevented you from doing? How does it affect your relationships? Imagine a stack of all the money you have wasted on cigarettes, over there, beyond your reach (what could you have done with that?). Now look down at that pile of cigarettes butts and notice how much it has grown. Sense how the smell has increased and gets into your nose and throat. Spend a few moments really associating with what another six months of smoking has changed for you.
4> Now, taking another step, find yourself one year in the future. Still seeing through your own eyes and hearing what you hear, take in every detail you notice about the situation you are in. Experience it like it’s happening now. How are you feeling about still smoking one year on? How is your health impacted now? Think about the effects on you relationships. What you are not able to do because of smoking? That pile of wasted money over there has doubled and so has the mountain of cigarette butts which is now covering your feet and climbing up your legs. How disgusting does that look to you? Feel the pungent smell in you nose and throat and know that your body has felt the effects of every single one of those cigarettes you have smoked. Linger on this sensation of while before moving on.
5> It’s time to really turn things up. Take another step along the path to arrive five years into the future. It might feel uncomfortable but it’s important that you immerse yourself in situation as fully as you can. What has five years of continuing to smoke done to your life? What are the impacts on you health now? How does it feel to be in a social minority, now that there are so few places you are allowed to smoke? What has smoking taken away from you? Feel every sensation as intensely as possible. Look at all of that money over there - hundreds, maybe even thousands in crisp notes – and imagine someone setting fire to the whole lot, just leaving you with that immense mountain of filthy cigarette butts, completely surrounding you. How does it smell now? How has your body suffered through smoking all of those cigarettes?
If you can stand it why not take a few more steps further into this future - 10, 20, 30 years - even go right to the end of the path and get a real sense of the damage smoking will do to many aspects of your life.
6> When you're done, come back in time to the present day and consider whether or not you want your real future to resemble what you have just experienced.
7> Now for the good part!! With your full imagination take a step forward onto the right path and go one month into the future from today. Use your mind to vividly represent a realistic situation of what it would be like to have been a non-smoker for a whole four weeks, seeing everything through your own eyes. What are the most immediate positive changes you notice straight away. Maybe there is a strong sense of pride or even relief that finally you've done it. Maybe you notice you're already breathing a lot better, or your skin looks healthier. Imagine people congratulating you on doing so well. Notice every good detail let the wonderful feelings spread throughout your body. At this point squeeze the thumb and forefinger of one hand together (this will begin to set a powerful unconscious association between the physical sensation in your fingers and your positive emotional state).
8> Take another step and move to the six month mark. You've been a non-smoker for half a year! What have you been able to achieve as a non-smoker that you could not do before? Notice how much healthier you look and feel. Maybe you're appreciating your heightened sense of taste and smell. Connect with you're new found vitality and be aware of how calmly and confidently you behave in situations where you used to be distracted by the need for cigarettes. How are you standing (or sitting)? Let yourself feel an amazing sense of accomplishment and healthiness. And, of course, don't forget to keep your eye on that growing pile of cash that has been generated by your decision to be a non-smoker. Take those great feelings inside of you and turn them up as much as you possibly can, then squeeze your thumb as forefinger together once more.
9> Now take step a into your one year anniversary. Really associate into how great it feels to have been free from nicotine for a whole twelve months. In what fantastic ways have your life improved by being a non-smoker for this long? Maybe you are doing something to celebrate your achievement. How are you enjoying your increased health and aliveness? Who else in your life is proud of you for doing such a good thing? That pile of money just there has doubled. What do you want to use it for? Let yourself experience anything else that comes to mind and take some time to really let the positive feelings grow within you, then press that thumb and forefinger together once more.
10> Now let your creative imagination take you another step further – five years in to the future. What have you been able to achieve in your life that could not have been achieved as a person chained to nicotine? The thought of cigarettes are probably now just a dim and distant memory. Let yourself fully experience how pleased and delighted you are about being one of the world’s happy non-smokers; fit and healthy and totally in control of your thoughts and actions. What would that pile of money look like now? Allow your imagination to make this situation as desirable and compelling as possible. Maybe you can glance to your left and see that other version of you on the left hand path still struggling and suffering at the mercy of tobacco and nicotine. Let this fuel the positive feelings inside of you now and turn them up as much as you can. Now squeeze that thumb and forefinger together again.
You can go even further into the future if you want to, but when you’re ready open your eyes and come back to the present moment.
If you have allowed yourself to do this exercise with your full and positive participation you should now be noticing a dramatic increase in your desire to be a non-smoker. This kind of motivation is what it takes to be ready to quit cigarettes with commitment and determination. You’ve now given your subconscious mind a clear goal to aim for by tipping the scales in favour of success. You have also set an “anchor” between the desire for being a non-smoker and the sensation of squeezing of your thumb and forefinger together. This means you can trigger these helpful feelings again and again to keep your focus where it needs to be at any time. Try it, it really works!!
The answer is simply having the right kind of motivation.
Now this may seem an obvious statement, but the key difference between those who stop smoking easily and those who fall at the first hurdle is the direction in which their minds are focused.
The fact is you can achieve just about anything in life, including becoming a non-smoker, provided there is enough leverage to drive your desire for change. Have you ever noticed how much easier it is overcome challenges when you are excited about the rewards of success?
Imagine that your motivation to quit cigarettes is like a set of balancing scales. On one side is your desire to carry on smoking (including the fears you associate with stopping) and on the other side are all the rewards and benefits of being a non-smoker. The focus of your mind adds weight to one side or the other and will determine which way the scales tip.
The problem that many people find when trying to stop smoking is they do not give themselves compelling enough reasons to tip the scales in favour of success. Of course on an intellectual level they know why they “should” stop, but their imagination is focused on how terrible it is to go without their fix, like running a mini disaster movie in their mind. As soon as there is a feeling of uneasiness, their automatic motivation is to feel better as quickly as possible, and this often results in lighting up.
People who successfully become non-smokers do so by knowing exactly how they want to benefit from quitting. They vividly imagine how great their lives will be without cigarettes. They immerse their senses in how wonderful it will feel to break the habit. They see themselves living a better life as a non-smoker and really associate into the positive sensations. Quite literally the motivation to be a non-smoker out-weighs the temptation to remain the same, even when in challenging situations.
So here is a powerful exercise for you to experience that focuses you on wanting to become a healthy, happy non-smoker. If you give this process your full attention you may well find that are motivated to stop smoking as soon as possible
CHOOSING YOUR FUTURE
It is best to read through these instructions once before carrying out each step. This exercise requires you to use your full imagination and it’s usually helpful to close your eyes, so please ensure you are in a situation where it’s safe and appropriate to do so.
1> In your mind imagine that in front of you there are two paths laid parallel to each other, stretching off into the distance, each representing alternative futures. The path on your left depicts the rest of your life should you choose NOT to quit smoking. The path on your right represents the positive ways your life improves by committing to stop smoking now.
2> Imagine taking a step forward onto the left path and arriving one month into the future (if you have the space you could even take a physical step forward). See yourself in a typical situation in a month’s time knowing that you have continued to smoke in the usual way. If you are imagining looking AT yourself, like a third party observer, mentally step into your body so you see though your own eyes. Notice everything about the situation. See what you see and hear what you hear, and as you think about the fact that you are still smoking notice exactly how you feel inside. At this stage the emotional effects might be quite small but you’ll probably start to feel disappointment that you have not quit. Really let yourself experience the event like it is actually happening now.
As the reality of the situation begins to grow, notice that beside you is a pile of cigarette butts, one for every time you smoked over the last four weeks. Really imagine what that looks like. How does it smell? How do you feel to realise that the harmful poisons and tar from each one of those cigarettes is there right inside you? Stay with this for a while before moving onto the next step.
3> Now imagine taking another step along the path, this time arriving six months into the future. Your body has had to endure another half year of harm and attack from tobacco smoke. Again, notice everything you can about where you are and what you are doing. Now vividly think about how yet another six months of smoking as impacted your life. How has your health changed? What has smoking prevented you from doing? How does it affect your relationships? Imagine a stack of all the money you have wasted on cigarettes, over there, beyond your reach (what could you have done with that?). Now look down at that pile of cigarettes butts and notice how much it has grown. Sense how the smell has increased and gets into your nose and throat. Spend a few moments really associating with what another six months of smoking has changed for you.
4> Now, taking another step, find yourself one year in the future. Still seeing through your own eyes and hearing what you hear, take in every detail you notice about the situation you are in. Experience it like it’s happening now. How are you feeling about still smoking one year on? How is your health impacted now? Think about the effects on you relationships. What you are not able to do because of smoking? That pile of wasted money over there has doubled and so has the mountain of cigarette butts which is now covering your feet and climbing up your legs. How disgusting does that look to you? Feel the pungent smell in you nose and throat and know that your body has felt the effects of every single one of those cigarettes you have smoked. Linger on this sensation of while before moving on.
5> It’s time to really turn things up. Take another step along the path to arrive five years into the future. It might feel uncomfortable but it’s important that you immerse yourself in situation as fully as you can. What has five years of continuing to smoke done to your life? What are the impacts on you health now? How does it feel to be in a social minority, now that there are so few places you are allowed to smoke? What has smoking taken away from you? Feel every sensation as intensely as possible. Look at all of that money over there - hundreds, maybe even thousands in crisp notes – and imagine someone setting fire to the whole lot, just leaving you with that immense mountain of filthy cigarette butts, completely surrounding you. How does it smell now? How has your body suffered through smoking all of those cigarettes?
If you can stand it why not take a few more steps further into this future - 10, 20, 30 years - even go right to the end of the path and get a real sense of the damage smoking will do to many aspects of your life.
6> When you're done, come back in time to the present day and consider whether or not you want your real future to resemble what you have just experienced.
7> Now for the good part!! With your full imagination take a step forward onto the right path and go one month into the future from today. Use your mind to vividly represent a realistic situation of what it would be like to have been a non-smoker for a whole four weeks, seeing everything through your own eyes. What are the most immediate positive changes you notice straight away. Maybe there is a strong sense of pride or even relief that finally you've done it. Maybe you notice you're already breathing a lot better, or your skin looks healthier. Imagine people congratulating you on doing so well. Notice every good detail let the wonderful feelings spread throughout your body. At this point squeeze the thumb and forefinger of one hand together (this will begin to set a powerful unconscious association between the physical sensation in your fingers and your positive emotional state).
8> Take another step and move to the six month mark. You've been a non-smoker for half a year! What have you been able to achieve as a non-smoker that you could not do before? Notice how much healthier you look and feel. Maybe you're appreciating your heightened sense of taste and smell. Connect with you're new found vitality and be aware of how calmly and confidently you behave in situations where you used to be distracted by the need for cigarettes. How are you standing (or sitting)? Let yourself feel an amazing sense of accomplishment and healthiness. And, of course, don't forget to keep your eye on that growing pile of cash that has been generated by your decision to be a non-smoker. Take those great feelings inside of you and turn them up as much as you possibly can, then squeeze your thumb as forefinger together once more.
9> Now take step a into your one year anniversary. Really associate into how great it feels to have been free from nicotine for a whole twelve months. In what fantastic ways have your life improved by being a non-smoker for this long? Maybe you are doing something to celebrate your achievement. How are you enjoying your increased health and aliveness? Who else in your life is proud of you for doing such a good thing? That pile of money just there has doubled. What do you want to use it for? Let yourself experience anything else that comes to mind and take some time to really let the positive feelings grow within you, then press that thumb and forefinger together once more.
10> Now let your creative imagination take you another step further – five years in to the future. What have you been able to achieve in your life that could not have been achieved as a person chained to nicotine? The thought of cigarettes are probably now just a dim and distant memory. Let yourself fully experience how pleased and delighted you are about being one of the world’s happy non-smokers; fit and healthy and totally in control of your thoughts and actions. What would that pile of money look like now? Allow your imagination to make this situation as desirable and compelling as possible. Maybe you can glance to your left and see that other version of you on the left hand path still struggling and suffering at the mercy of tobacco and nicotine. Let this fuel the positive feelings inside of you now and turn them up as much as you can. Now squeeze that thumb and forefinger together again.
You can go even further into the future if you want to, but when you’re ready open your eyes and come back to the present moment.
If you have allowed yourself to do this exercise with your full and positive participation you should now be noticing a dramatic increase in your desire to be a non-smoker. This kind of motivation is what it takes to be ready to quit cigarettes with commitment and determination. You’ve now given your subconscious mind a clear goal to aim for by tipping the scales in favour of success. You have also set an “anchor” between the desire for being a non-smoker and the sensation of squeezing of your thumb and forefinger together. This means you can trigger these helpful feelings again and again to keep your focus where it needs to be at any time. Try it, it really works!!
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