SELF DISCIPLINE AND MOTIVATION

On one of the personal development forums I contribute to someone was asking for advice on how to be more self-disciplined. Unfortunately they did not mention what activity they would like to have more discipline towards, but I guess that doesn't really matter. Discipline is discipline regardless of the subject.

I want to share with you my reply to this person, because when you understand how your mind becomes naturally disciplined and motivated you can use that knowledge to follow through with the acheivement of any goal:


Self discipline is never a problem if your motivation to do something is set in the right direction, and there are right and wrong ways to think about motivation.

We are either motivated to avoid things, e.g. "I don't want to be in debt" or "I don't want to be overweight", or we are motivated towards better outcomes, e.g. "I want the freedom of being financially independent" or "I want to feel fit and energized through achieving my ideal body weight".

People are far more likely to achieve their goals when they are focused on how good their life is going to be as a result of making it happen. The important thing to note is that this focus should not be a passive process. You must imagine your desired outcome in full Technicolor and immerse your senses completely in it. See it through your own eyes – big, right and vivid. Notice the sounds and make them loud and crisp. Imagine being in the scene as if it is happening right now and tune into how great if feels to have been successful – imagine you have a volume dial for you emotions and crank it right up.

Self discipline and motivation to do things come easily when you give your unconscious mind compelling pictures to aim for. When you allow yourself to feel the good feelings in advance of the actual success, you find a natural urge to make your reality match your internal expectation.

The word discipline literally means “to teach”. So if you want to be more self disciplined you simply need to teach your mind what you are aiming for by fantasizing about achieving your goals – and remembering to make the experience as sensory rich as you can.

When you become excited about the outcome, the discipline to follow through happens all by itself.

BE THE CHANGE...

Quotes are such powerful directors of thought. They have the ability to condense big and complex ideas or concepts into short, snappy phrases that cut straight through to the simple truth of things.

One of the quotes that has had the most profound and lasting effect on me comes from Gandhi. He said "You must be the change you wish to see in the world".

When I heard this for the first time I experienced a massive light bulb moment. Everything I had been seeking to learn about how to positively influence the world around me suddenly came together in flash of clarity. That instant I realised that in order for things to get better, I was going to have to get better.

This is what getting better meant to me:

• If I want others to be kind and considered towards me.... I must demonstrate kindness and consideration towards them
• If I wanted them to be motivated... I must show them I am motivated
• If I want to be wealthy... I must give my heartfelt warm wishes to those who are already wealthy (there is no room for hidden jealousy)
• If I want to attract love into my life... I must be the embodiment of love
• If I want harmony in the world... I must be harmonious
• If I want to be appreciated... I must share
• If I want to be heard... I must listen
• If I want to receive... I must give

Like attracts like. Nothing in your life will improve by listing everything that is wrong with the world (or the people in it). The most powerful influencing tool you possess is your ability to be the example of what you desire there to be more of.

People only respond to you in ways that are consistent with the manner in which you present yourself. If you change, then they have to change also to accommodate it. That is the nature of human interaction.

You will rarely make someone see your point of view by arguing with theirs. If you want them to understand you, then understand them. Somewhere along the line there is a truth you can both agree with.

Peace will never be achieved through war. Mother Teresa often refused to take part in anti-war marches, requesting that they should give her a call if they ever decide to walk for peace. This distinction is critical.

Think about the situations and people in your own life. What would being the change you wish to see in the world mean for you? What are you frustrated by? What do you need to be doing, or being, that you have not already that will cause the world to respond more favourably towards you?

HOW TO NIP NEGATIVE THOUGHTS IN THE BUD

Everyone has negative thoughts. If you’re human you can’t help it. Even the most positive and inspirational people you know have the similar kind of negative thoughts that you have from time to time. Believe it or not they also make harsh unconscious judgements about people, things and events too! They criticise and self deprecate – but that doesn’t stop them being generally positive and inspirational, does it?

The truth about what goes on in our heads is that we don’t always get to choose the types of thoughts that take place. But we DO get to choose which of those thoughts we pay attention to and do something with.

The majority of the dialogue, imagery, ideas and scenarios that plays out in your thinking is just the stream of background noise your unconscious mind makes as it does its job of making sense of the world around you. It is absolutely harmless. All the time you just leave it be and let it get on with what ever it wants to think about (in which ever way it wants to think about it) there can be no reason for you to get disturbed. It is only when you inject life into a thought and give it wings - when you consciously ‘pick-up’ on innocent background negativity and bring it to the fore by consciously making it louder and potent to your senses - that things start to get a bit messy.

Here’s the thing:

The problem is not that you have the negative thought; the problem is that you take it seriously, like it actually means something.

One of the fundamental keys to having a more positive experience in any area of your life is to stop thinking your thoughts are telling you the truth, or even that they are telling you what you actually believe, for that matter!!!

This is my really simple model to NIP your consciously negative thoughts in the bud.

NIP stands for: Notice – Interrupt – Positive

This is how it works:

NOTICE - The first step is to catch yourself in the act of talking negatively with your internal voice. The very moment you realise you are ‘doing it again’ you can instantly move on to the next step.

INTERRUPT – This means doing or saying something deliberately different in your mind to break the flow of the negative thought. I’ve found one of the best ways to do this is to shout “STOP” in a forceful tone of voice (remember this is using your internal voice – you could get some rather strange looks otherwise!!). Another great way is to imagine you have a volume dial for your internal dialogue and hear the voice quieten all the way down to silence as you turn it.

POSTIVE – Once you’ve interrupted the negative voice you’ll notice there is a moment of silence. Use this space to generate choices for how you could view the thing you were thinking about in a positive way.

Example:

“I really don’t want to give that presentation tomorrow…. It’s taking up so much of my time and I’ve got other more important things to do…. And I’m rubbish at presentations anyway….. I’m going to make a real hash of it, I know it…. My boss’s boss is going to be there…. Everyone will think I don’t know what I’m talking about…………” (Notice)

“STOP!!!………..” (Interrupt)

“OK. Let me just imagine for a moment that the presentation goes perfectly…. Right, there I am standing confidently and talking clearly, making great eye contact. Just relax…. It feels a whole lot better when I visualise the positive and engaged looks on their faces… This could actually be quite a good opportunity for me to raise my profile…..” (Positive)

Try it out. Have fun playing around with that voice in your head, after all it IS yours and you can do what you want with it!!

STOP TRYING - START DOING

Why is it that so many people find it hard to stick to their New Year resolutions?

One of the biggest factors that weaken a persons resolve to do something new, such as maintain an exercise plan or quit smoking is the language they use to describe how they intend to go about achieving it. The main culprit is the word "TRY".

You see when someone says "I'm going to TRY to get to the gym more often" or "I'm TRYING to stop smoking" they've already given themselves permission to fail. It presupposes that things might get in the way and prevent them from being successful. This makes it feel a lot more acceptable to fall at their first hurdle, because they were kind of expecting it anyway (even if it was unconsciously)

Simply deleting the word TRY from your vocabulary causes you to think about your goals in a different, more empowering way. It has a completely different effect on your neurogly. Notice the difference in how you feel as you read these two statements:

• I am trying to lose weight
• I am achieving my ideal body weight (presupposes continual success)

As Grand Master Yoda once said "There is no try, only do". How true. You are either losing weight or you are not. If you want to exercise, then exercise. You are either committed to stopping smoking or you are not. If you are only TRYING to quit then really you are just registering your interest in what it would be like to be a non-smoker, which would actually take real commitment. You cannot TRY to be committed, in the same way as you cannot be a little bit pregnant.

So, review your resolutions and decide if you only want to try to stick to them or if you'll decide to do whatever it takes to make them a success.

Happy New Year everyone!!